I Cry on No One's Shoulder
by Kurama no Hime
Summary: Shuiichi, Kuramas stepbrother, has lung cancer. Now his spirit is moving closer and closer to the Spirit world as death is approaching, and he begs Kurama to kill him, what is Kurama to do!?
1. Color my Mask of Faded Dreams…

Disclaimer: If I did own Yu Yu Hakusho, this would not be a fan fic, this would be a multi-million dollar movie.  
  
Note: This is a/u (alternate universe). What currently is going on is that Kuramas stepbrother, Shuiichi, has lung cancer. For every one who does not know, later on in the series, Shiori gets married, and in short, Kurama gets a younger stepbrother. Who smokes. In sake of the fic, I am going to stop explaining there. Oh, and also. Do not take some things as hard-core facts.  
  
Note number 2: Okay, so, there are two guys living in the same house with the same name, right? Luckily, their names are spelled differently. Kuramas is spelled Shuichi and his little brother is Shuiichi.  
  
'bla bla' thoughts * * Actions  
  
'How easily life can enter the world, and how forcefully it can be taken away. I never thought I would be here for this reason. I would love the thought of it just being a dream, not harsh reality. But, I tell my self, that will be when the biblical angels and devils kiss.'  
  
Chapter One: Color my Mask of Faded Dreams.  
  
Torrent clouds arched leisurely across a sky, blanketing everything beneath it with a shadow. The sun tried its best to plummet rays of light through the clouds, but the sun did not succeed.  
  
A white sheer curtain on a wooden drapery rod billowed as a gust of wind moved it forcefully out of the way to send an un-wanted chill in the room. It also lifted up random pieces of lined paper almost like they were only the winds toys to play with.  
  
Droplets of water fell from the sky and plummeted to the ground with some trees catching them in sprawled out branches that were decorated with full, deep dark green leaves.  
  
(A/N: The above ^ was how I found my room when I returned home from school, lovely eh?)  
  
~§~  
  
Wisps of chilling spring breeze played joyfully with strands of red hair, as if it was a cat's toy. A slim hand reached up to push them back, out of fresh salty tear trails.  
  
A round rock skipped out joyfully across the glass-like pond surface, then sunk in the murky depths.  
  
"Shuichi?" A voice called out in the cheery back garden of the hospital.  
  
Kuramas head flew up as soon as he heard his name, and wiped his face, even though he could not conceal his red eyes. He heard his mothers' soft footsteps on the ground, and looked up from where he was sitting on the grassy ponds edge.  
  
"Quite nice out here." Shiori commented as she sat down next to her son on the soft grass.  
  
"Yes, it is." Kurama answered softly, still eloped in his own thoughts.  
  
"Ohh, don't be so sad Shuichi, he will get better." Shiori said lovingly as she hugged Kurama.  
  
Kurama easily falsified a smile to agree as he leaned his head on his mothers shoulder. But deep down in his heart, and in his mind. He knew the chapter was not going to turn out into a young child's storybook ending.  
  
~§~  
  
White and blue, everywhere. White walls, white and blue speckled vinyl tile, blue sheets and pillowcases, blue counters, and steel doorknobs. It was an interior designers living hell.  
  
Large, fearful brown eyes turned into slits under the influence of burning pain that was rushing through his veins like wild fire, "Where is my mom, my brother?" He managed to gasp out through clenched teeth.  
  
"Out side, they will be in soon dear." A nurse reassured Shuiichi and checked the bag that held the liquid that was dripping into Shuiichi IV.  
  
Shuiichi closed his eyes and sighed. Then, he stared at the white ceiling. His eyes slid off the ceiling and down to the needle that was taped down on his arm. He had gotten use to the needle being in his arm, even though it was un-comfortable, but it was necessary of him to live.  
  
~§~  
  
"What are you thinking?" Shiori asked her silent son as she twirled a piece of his red hair on her finger.  
  
"Every thing and nothing." Kurama started, thinking on how to phase his thoughts, "I just think it is unusual that someone can get lung cancer so quickly. It is true that his immune system is weak, but."  
  
"I would have to agree," Shiori then wiped her eye quickly, "But I have faith that he is going to live. Medicine is very advanced in today's world. Well, I am going to check on Shuiichi."  
  
Kurama lifted his head off of his mothers shoulder and then looked up at her, "I am going to stay out her for a while longer, if you don't mind."  
  
Shiori smiled sadly, "Sure." And reached down and ruffled his hair and managed to get a chuckle out of her brooding son, and then left Kurama in his own thoughts.  
  
*Flash Back*  
  
"Yes Koenma-sama?" Kurama asked as he entered the strangely colored room that held a large desk that was piled high with papers.  
  
"This is about your stepbrother, I assume you know where I am going?"  
  
Kurama bowed his head as he stood in front of the toddler-appearing demi- god, "You do not approve of any action I want to take to help him. This is the natural coarse of life and it goes where it has to go." Kurama answered.  
  
"And I believe you also thoroughly understand what action I will have to take if you do any thing?" Koenma asked shifting around in his large chair.  
  
"Yusuke will be forced to kill me." Kurama answered emotionlessly.  
  
*End Flash Back*  
  
Kurama sighed and tilted his head back, watching the dreary gray clouds pass over the sky, and then letting his eyes cloud over, letting his mind awash him with a tidal wave of thoughts and 'what ifs'.  
  
~§~  
  
'Oh, how many times I have looked at that knife or gun, and think how easy it could be, to end it all, end all the pain, end all the suffering. It would be simple, too simple. Just to end it all. I am wasting away as it is.' Shuiichi thought bleakly as his gaze fell upon the needle that was still in his arm.  
  
*******************  
  
"How are you feeling honey?" Shiori asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence in the car.  
  
"Tired." Shuiichi answered simply.  
  
"Is there any thing you need?" Shiori asked concerned.  
  
"Something sweet would be nice." Shuiichi grinned.  
  
Kurama and Shiori laughed lightly at the remark that was typical of Shuiichi. Shiori turned her attention on her other son, seeing on how sullen he was acting, "Would you like any thing when I go out to the store after I drop you two off?"  
  
"Nothing really, thank you." Kurama answered automatically as he was gazing out the window.  
  
"Are you sure?" Shiori asked, her eyes glancing back in the rear-view mirror for a second.  
  
"I am fine, thanks." Kurama answered, looking back at his mother, smiling the best he could even with the thoughts his mind was holding.  
  
"Okay then, if you change your mind, call me, alright?"  
  
"Yes, mother."  
  
"Hey, Shuichi, do you want to play chess? I will beat you THIS time!!!" Shuiichi asked as his mom parked out side of their house.  
  
"Sure, just don't wipe me across the floor harshly." Kurama said as his usual retort when his younger brother asked if he would play any game. Seeing Shuiichi brightening up, a little light started to glow inside of Kurama again.  
  
"Play nice boys. And Shuichi, don't forget to remind him to take his medicine." Shiori called as Shuiichi shut the door on the car.  
  
"I will, don't worry."  
  
"Thank you! Love you both!"  
  
"Love you" The two brothers said in unison and walked inside the house.  
  
~§~  
  
After Kurama prolonged the game of chess, hinting at every opening that he left open, he eventually won.  
  
"Checkmate" Kurama pronounced casually, moving his tan king into the empty space, "Maybe next time you will win."  
  
Shuiichi stared at the checkered board, dumbfounded, looking at all of his black figurines, "What. What did you do?" He asked, letting his eyelids droop a little from exhaustion.  
  
Kurama then leaned forward from where he was sitting on the tan carpet in his living room, and laid the board out as it had been a few moments ago, "You see, I took my king." He started, and then Shuiichi held up his hand to stop him, getting slightly annoyed.  
  
Kurama looked up from the operation he had carefully preformed, "What is wrong?" Kurama asked.  
  
"I don't need to go though the humiliation." Kurama herd, then. It was almost as if, he could feel his brother. sinking deeper into dark opaque depths. It was as if, a line he was grasping on to, was greased with oil.  
  
Shuiichi was still talking, but Kurama did not notice, images started to flash through his mind, of when his brother was sick before, he could tell then, he even told him to stay home from school before, and later on, he landed in the doctors office.  
  
"Hey? Hey! Are you there??" Shuiichi asked wearily.  
  
Kurama blinked and his head jerked up, "Sorry, I was just thinking about something. Good game if I do say so myself."  
  
"I guess so, but how can you get all of these strategies. When I don't even have the faintest clue what my third move should be?"  
  
"I had a lot of practice. Oh, and don't forget to take your medicine." Kurama reminded his brother as he took off all of the small glass statues off of the board and placed them in the box.  
  
Shuiichi yawned and placed the folded chessboard in the long box, "Okay, okay. It will just make me feel worse. And it tastes vile." He complained.  
  
"Medicine is supposed to taste bad if it is going to work the way it is supposed too." Kurama commented, "After you take your medicine, I recommend you go take a nap, then I will help you with your homework later." Kurama offered a hand to help Shuiichi up, but he shock his head and staggered up to his feet on his own. But his body was weak, and he caught himself on Kuramas arm.  
  
Kurama smiled weakly, but wishing desperately that he could help him. But, being killed was not going to help any one in the long run.  
  
After Kurama checked over his shoulder to make sure that Shuiichi was going to the kitchen, he mounted the oak stairs that lead to the second floor, and eventually, he would get to his room.  
  
************  
  
The wind from the slightly open glass panned windows blew harshly opening white and almost pink curtains. Not caring what the wind disturbed, it winded smoothly past the polished cherry wood table, that was illuminated by several track lights that ran across the ceiling, with matching chairs. Then the wind fell to the white clean floor, over the silky maroon rug. The gust of wind then encountered cabinets of glass and cherry wood, a porcelain sink, a silver refrigerator, and then it finally ended when it hit a light, almost happy, red wall.  
  
Another gust blew, and it encountered a person who was looking depressed and tired. It seemed like it was having in eternal argument. The hands were shaky as it opened an orange bottle that had a white cap. The persons brown eyes were glancing back and forth from a block that had handles sticking out. The boy tore his eyes away, to open a cabinet and pick up a clear glass.  
  
The eyes kept on moving back and forth from the block that held some sort of object, and the task he was sent upon to do. The gust of wind then cheerfully played with his hair as he filled the cup with water, and then to swallow the pill nosily.  
  
Then, the unexpected happened as another gust of wind went past the boy. The glass crashed to the floor and at the same time, so did the boy. He started sobbing like a newborn child. The wind tried to blanket him like a mother to a child, but the wind did not succeed.  
  
The helpless boy then, not intentionally, started to get cut by the glass. The wind that continued to blow from the window, did not know what was happening. Sharp pieces of glass continued to puncture into his skin as he tied to get up, but he was too weak to get off of the floor.  
  
The wind tried to elope the boy with calmness, but, like all the other times, it did not succeed. The gust of wind then encountered a taller boy, wearing blue pants, lavender cloth belt, and a blue shirt. He rushed over to the boy, not caring about the deep cuts he was getting in his feet, and lifted the younger boy off of the floor, and carried him to the counter, where he sat him down.  
  
******  
  
"What happened?" Kurama asked, focusing his full attention of analyzing his stepbrother.  
  
"I-I don't k-know." Shuiichi managed to gasp out, "I. I am just so scared Shuichi." And he grabbed onto his brother like he was a giant teddy bear.  
  
Kurama rubbed his back, and put an arm around him, "Every thing will be okay, don't worry." And he let his brother cry his heart out, while inside the mask Kurama composed easily, he was shattered into little pieces. All the facts came tougher all to easy for the likening of Kurama. It was as if the urban legend death shadow was slinking slyer then a cat, to his brother.  
  
Okay, okay. I know this is going a tad bit slow, and a little fast at some parts, but this is the course I usually have to take to get my stories up and running.  
  
Oh, one last note. I have a life, friends, and school (no job yet, don't feel like it, to darn lazy and I have every thing I want for now.) I don't know how often I will be updating, but expect bi-weekly. I do not know of any future projects, but with my Honors English teacher that I have, I would not be surprised if she said 'Class! You have to read two books, and make a speech about the book and visual aids for both books. Due by Monday of next week!'  
  
Now that my blabbing is over, you can do some blabbing of your own. You see that nice menu down their, and that nice button? ^_^ 


	2. Fear The Future

Disclaimer: I would love to own Yu Yu Hakusho. Is that good enough of a disclaimer?  
  
Chapter 2 Fear the Future  
  
After a few minutes, Shuiichis' crying turned to coughs, and then panting. Kurama pulled away from Shuiichi long enough to wet a towel for him to put to his eyes, "Now, why don't we get you cleaned up, you are still bleeding, and I don't think Mother nor Father would like to see you, and my self, like this." Shuiichi coughed and took deep breaths of air while he nodded.  
  
Kuramas face was pained when he examined all of the cuts, each one was seemingly worse from the last. The jagged glass in his hands was deep, as were the pieces of glass that penetrated through his blue pants on the backside of his legs. "How in the world did you do this?" Kurama asked softly with his back turned, walking to the last cabinet door that was underneath the countertop to get the first aid kit.  
  
Shuiichi swallowed hard, 'If I tell him the truth, it is no question he will tell mother and father. And then they will be hovering over me, watching my every move. Shuichi would probably do the same.' Shuiichi looked over at his stepbrother who was kneeling on the floor, moving various bottles of cleaning chemicals so he could grab the white box. Shuiichi finally answered, "I am just scared."  
  
Kurama glanced over his shoulder as he closed the door, "Scared of what?"  
  
'Myself.' Shuiichi thought, but did not voice his thought out loud, but instead, quickly formulated a answer that was partly true at the moment, "of what is going to happen. I don't like feeling tired all the time."  
  
Kurama walked over to his brother and picked up one of his hands to look how the glass was positioned in his hand, "Then you should have quit smoking. Don't you remember that you have some of fathers' genes in you? His grandfather died a year after he started smoking. This is going to hurt a little, but probably not as bad as when they punctured your skin." (A/N: I am going to stop describing what is happening there *shivers* I hate seeing other people bleeding, yes, even anime characters)  
  
~§~  
  
"Will I need stitches?" Shuiichi asked drowsily after Kurama had laid the tweezers that he had used to get the smaller pieces of jagged pieces of glass out of his stepbrothers hands, arms, and legs.  
  
"Butterfly stitches should be good enough, the strips have to be around here some where." Kurama mumbled as he rummaged around in the seemingly endless white box. Shiori always said 'better be safe then sorry in the long run'.  
  
Shuiichi nodded as he yawned, he was almost falling asleep on the counter, but he could not because of the bright light that was penetrating his eyelids. He looked up at the track lights, wishing that they would just go away.  
  
"Can you please try to stay awake for me?" Kurama asked, "I need to know when something hurts."  
  
Shuiichi nodded once as his eyes followed Kuramas movements as he lifted a brown bottle labeled 'peroxide', cotton swabs, and many other things that your typical emergency room would hold. Shuiichi asked between worn out yawns, "I never knew mother had all of those things."  
  
"She had this first aid kit for a long time, I believe ever since I learned how to crawl." Kurama disguised a small smile, and went to work on all the large wounds.  
  
*******************  
  
Shioris' heals clicked quietly on the concrete path that evidently led up to the four stairs, and then up to the door. She placed a strand of hair back behind her ear that got moved due to the winds playfulness. Shioris' eyes looked around the yard, at all the puddles that had developed from the prolonged rain.  
  
She moved two brown bags under her left arm as she rummaged in her purse to find her set of keys. After a few seconds of frustration, her fingers felt one jagged edge, and she lifted the set of keys out, sighing in relief. She continued to walk up to the front door, humming a small tune to her self.  
  
******************  
  
"I am back boys!" Shiori yelled in a singsong voice.  
  
Shuiichi moaned, from being shaken from his short slumber, "Wha.?"  
  
"Mother is home." Kurama said quietly, "Can you please try to straighten out your left arm for me?"  
  
"But it hurts." Shuiichi said as he was on the verge of going back to sleep.  
  
"Can you try for me?" Kurama asked, with his eyes pained of hearing the evidence of the intense pain his stepbrother was going through. His head turned as he heard fast clicking of heals on the tile floor.  
  
"What happened?!!?" Shiori gasped as she almost slid to a halt in front of Kurama and Shuiichi, "Shuichi, what happened to your brother?! Are both of you okay?!"  
  
"Please watch out for the broken glass that is on the floor. I have yet to clean that up. But, yes, I believe Shuiichi will be fine. It seems as if he dropped a glass when he tripped. I already took all the glass out," Kurama stated gravely, "I put butterfly stitches in his arms and legs, and I still have yet to wrap his legs in gauze."  
  
Shiori was pale as she inspected how badly hurt her son was. The butterfly stitches underneath Shuiichis ripped open pant legs, had blood staining them, but the bleeding seemed to cease, "How. How long ago did this happen?" She managed to whisper as her eyes were brimming with tears.  
  
"I found him here about thirty to forty minuets ago." Kurama answered as he started to wrap his brothers left arm.  
  
"Shuichi! You are cut on your feet! Please sit down, you are bleeding!" Shiori commanded, composing herself.  
  
~  
  
About an hour, Shiori was content with her work and commanded in her sweet and gentle voice that both boys go to bed early. But, Shuiichi was already asleep on the counter, so Shiori carried him to bed while Kurama limped sullenly behind her because of his over gauzed wrapped foot. All he could tell he needed was 3 band aids, his mother stated, 'best to be safe then sorry.'  
  
~§~  
  
Shuiichi pulled his blue comforter over his shoulders, and straightened out his sheet that was underneath the comforter  
  
"Shuichi!!!!" Shuiichi yelled (A/N: That kind of sounds. weird. eh?) from his bed. He just woken up about thirty minuets ago, and could not go back to sleep, even though he was tired. Shuiichi had been tossing and turning for minutes, with his covers getting twisted every imaginable way.  
  
A couple of rooms down the hall, Kurama looked up from his book that he was reading in bed, marked the page with the local libraries white bookmark, pushed back the green blanket that was laying across his legs and got out of his bed and picked up a pile of what gauze that used to be on his foot, and carried it with him. He walked down the dimly lighted hallway, his feet going cold from the coolness of the wooden flooring. He discarded the gauze in a trashcan in the bathroom next to his stepbrothers' room, and then knocked on the door that was emitting light from the gap that was between the bottom of the door and the floor.  
  
"Shuiichi!" His brother said joyously when he saw Kurama.  
  
"I see you are feeling better." Kurama commented, "Did you have a nightmare?" He asked as he tugged down his white long sleeve annoyingly, because it kept on creeping up his arm.  
  
Shuiichi looked down sadly, "Yes, and you were in it."  
  
"What happened?" Kurama asked as he stepped over a shirt and other items that were scattered on the wooden flooring.  
  
"You. You were badly hurt I don't really remember how. It was just so real." Shuiichi looked up at his stepbrothers' compassionate face, allowing one tear to streak down his face.  
  
'Wouldn't you love to see some parts of my life.' Kurama thought rather grimly, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" He asked.  
  
Shuiichis face brightened up instantly, as if he was planning the whole scene, "Can you tell me that story you use to always tell me when I was sick? The one with the fox and the poor hunter?"  
  
"I think I saw that coming." Kurama said slyly, "Why don't you tell it to me for once? You memorized it."  
  
"But. But. I am the one who is sick! Yes, you don't have to tell me, I caused my illness on my own. But, you tell the story as if. Well, I don't know how to say it, but as if you were there!"  
  
Kurama tried not to show apprehension from his brothers comment, but he could not cover the startled look in his eyes, "Well, um. I guess I could tell you the story over again." He said and walked over to his brothers' desk, pulled out the wooden chair and placed it by his brothers' bed, and started his tale.  
  
"One day, in another word that is close to ours," Kurama started, "lived a very selfish and haughty silver kitsune."  
  
*********  
  
Out in the night, the leaves were being stirred by a cool night wind, as their branches were being bended by the night creatures jumping from one branch to another.  
  
A red eye opened as a brown leaf landed on his nose. He plucked it off and let the wind take it away as he looked at a house, to see if a light was turned off yet. To his disappointment, it was not. He sighed dejectedly and climbed up branches to see what was taking his friend so long.  
  
************  
  
Kuramas head turned to look out the window as he carried on with the story, "the fox finally took a fall off of the mountain he was atop of." He could hear some one chuckling outside of the window.  
  
"What is wrong Shuichi?" Shuiichi cut in.  
  
"Oh, nothing. I believe it is just an animal I heard." Kurama lied, looking back at his stepbrother, "As I was saying."  
  
~§~  
  
"Why don't you just come in?" Kurama announced as he turned a page in his book. He had gone back to his room after his brother feel asleep like a child would have done in a TV show, right in the middle of the story.  
  
"So, I am an animal?" Hiei asked as he lifted the screen off of the open window, and pushed aside the white curtains as he placed the screen on the floor.  
  
"What else would have convinced him?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"What brings you here?" Kurama asked as he closed his book and laid it down beside him.  
  
"There is a large rally in Makai, Koenma-sama wonders if you can come with us, or would you rather stay here with your brother?" Hiei stated as he sat on the window ledge.  
  
"I am sorry, but I will have to opt out of this one, I can tell that something is going to happen, and I want to be around to help in any way I can."  
  
"I will tell him. Also, your brother."  
  
Kurama held up his hand to silence Hiei, "I know what you are going to say. I am aware of this."  
  
Hiei bowed his head with his eyes closed, "you have all of our wishes."  
  
"Thank you. Good luck."  
  
Hiei nodded and jumped out of the window and into the silky darkness.  
  
Kurama sighed, his eyes distant, still staring at the place where his best friend was just standing.  
  
After a few seconds passed by, Kurama shook his head to clear his thoughts. He got out of bed, opened his door and walked out into the hall to his parent's room to make sure they were still sleeping.  
  
Kurama opened their door, and looked at the king sized bed that was illuminated by the flickering light of the TV that was on his stepfathers' dresser on the opposite side of the room. Luckily, both of his parents were sleeping peacefully.  
  
~§~  
  
After checking on his sleeping stepbrother, he walked back into his room, and jumped out of his window, onto a branch that yielded under his weight.  
  
Kurama walked on the thick branch of the oak tree till he got to the trunk of the massive tree. He sat down, leaning on the rough trunk as he looked past the branches to the moon that was casting pure and loving light down to the earth.  
  
'When does the last line break?' Kurama thought as rays of moonlight penetrated his eyelids as he fell into a light sleep, wrapped in the nurturing light of the moon, held by the tree, and kissed goodnight by the wind.  
  
~§~§~  
  
Well, I know this was probably shorter then the first chapter, but well. I had all those darn notes. This story is finally picking up speed! Yes! I am acutely writing another fan fic, and sticking with it!!! That phenomenon has not been occurring for me. since I finished Lavender Tears!!! Well, no, cancel that, I am a co-author with Dark Angel Himeko, and I am stuck correcting her grammar and how she phrases things *giant sweat drop*.  
  
See that drop-up menu and button? Isn't you mouse just DIEING to click on it?! 


	3. It Brightly Shines

I AM SO SORRY!!! IT SEEMED LIKE I HAD UPLOADED MY SKETCHED CHAPTER 3!!!! SO SORRY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! Any ways, the only difference is that I forgot to make a of what time of day it is _'''' Sorry. Also, thanks to Blood Roses for letting me know.  
  
Disclaimer: Aw shucks, I am not 21 yet, so I cant win the lottery. Also, it is not summer yet, and I don't like having a job when school is going on, so, right now, I am in a deadlock.  
  
Sorry peoples, I would have had this up dated earlier, but ff.n did not corporate with my secdual. I kept on getting an error message when I went to upload this chapter.  
  
Note: I chapters in advance some times, and I received a review, stating that s/he did not see when Kuramas mother got married. I did not either ^_^''''. I am just writing based on what little I found on-line. What is helping me though is that one person I meet on AIM from Brazil, she said that Shuiichi looks up to Kurama, so, that is how I found out about him. I only know that one fact, and that he smokes ;_;.  
  
This chapter is brought to you by: Caffeine *is chugging Pepsi while getting ready for school AND writing at the same time* *Takes a vitamin C* I don't believe you can get hurt by taking one vitamin C and chugging three cans of Pepsi.  
  
Chapter 3 It Brightly Shines  
  
~ Temptation can be an exciting or dreaded thing. It can come in any size or shape, and it can have the greatest consequence. Or, rather, it can damn a person's existence. ~  
  
"Kurama?" Yusuke called, looking around the moonlight-blanketed backyard, "I have a note from Koenma!!!" He yelled.  
  
"Not so loud!" Kurama whispered harshly behind him.  
  
Yusuke jumped when he heard Kurama behind him, "Where did you come from!?"  
  
"I was walking up to you once I saw you come down the side walk. You said you had a note from Koenma?"  
  
"Oh, yea, that. Here, and. Can I read it when you are done?" Yusuke asked innocently.  
  
Kurama gave him a sidelong glance as he opened the envelope. Inside was a neatly folded white paper that had writing on the other side.  
  
"Well, can I read it? Koenma was very secretive when I asked him." Yusuke said as Kuramas eyes skimmed the paper. ~Next day.~  
  
"Did you have all of your things for school Shuichi?" Shiori asked Kurama as she placed a cheery blue and yellow plate of bacon, toast and eggs in front of him.  
  
"Yes, mother. I am not sure how much paper I have left though, but I believe it is enough for this week."  
  
"You should have told me when I went to the store. Speaking of which, I forgot to tell you, I picked you up that book that you have been looking at on-line. It is on the bookshelf in the hall."  
  
"Thanks, I am almost done reading the book I have now." Kurama smiled up at his mom and then started eating.  
  
"What about you Shuiichi? Is every thing ready for school?"  
  
"What? Oh, yes, I believe so. But I don't feel like going." He said with his voice distant, his eyes wandering back and forth from his mother to the edge on his knife, 'So easy, just end it all, the nightmare would end.' he thought.  
  
But Shiori did not notice her sons' eyes because she was starting to clean the kitchen, "Try to last as long as you can, and I will pick you up if you don't believe you can make it." Shiori stated firmly.  
  
Kurama looked up from the newspaper he just started reading because a glint caught his eye. He looked at the knife Shuiichi was inspecting in his hands, "I don't believe you should play with knifes, we have to leave for school soon." Kurama said quietly, meant for his stepbrothers' ears only.  
  
Shuiichis eyes grew large, 'He saw me?!' He thought as his face became morose, "I will go get my stuff ready." Shuiichi said, excusing himself.  
  
"Oh, you have not even touched your breakfast yet." Shiori observed.  
  
"I don't feel like eating."  
  
"You should at least take two bites of your toast and drink all of your orange juice."  
  
"But I don't feel like it. I just feel weighed down, and if I eat I am afraid I will get sick."  
  
"Do you think you can afford another day at home? Are you all caught up till now?"  
  
"Yes I am, and Shuichi can pick up my work again." Shuiichi looked question at Kurama who smiled, "Of course I can."  
  
"Well then, you can go back to bed, and I have to go out for about thirty minutes to drop off all of the bills. Will you be okay in till I get back?"  
  
"Yes, I am just going to lay down."  
  
Kuramas eyes became unfocused when he almost felt three thin threads break. It was almost as if Shuiichi was hanging off of a cliff, and all he had were life's last threads in his grasp. He almost wanted to cry out, give his stepbrother a hug and tell him it was alright. Kurama stated thinking if he should give him a extra push to reach the soil on the cliff. He wondered if he would take the risk, but, in the dark corners of his heart, he knew that his stepbrother would die, one way or another.  
  
"Shuichi? Shuichi? Are you all right? Shuichi?"  
  
Kurama quickly shook his head to return back to earth, "Sorry mother, just going through a list of things I had to do last night for homework."  
  
"Oh, okay. Did you get them all done?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you want me to look over the answers quickly?"  
  
"No, that is okay, I double checked every thing." Kurama answered, even though he did not. The only time his mother found some thing wrong, well, not actually wrong, because the answer was right, it was just the work he did to get there.  
  
"Oh, all right, well, you better start walking to school then. Love you, have a good day."  
  
****************  
  
"Look!!! There he is!!!!!!!" Random rabid fan girl number 10 shirked when she saw Kurama across the street.  
  
'I wonder how much time he has left.' Kurama thought as he ignored a tail of drooling girls that formed behind him, 'I guess some day I will have to pay a visit to Koenma.'  
  
"Are you listening to us Shuiichi? I, the president of Stark Raving Mad Fan Girls Club, hereby asks for your autograph." A cherry haired girl stated when she jumped in front of Kurama.  
  
'Not again.' He thought, and broke into his usual morning exorcise. He broke into running, caught an overhead tree branch, and hoisted himself up, safely above the girls.  
  
"Aw man!" Random rabid fan girl number 42 moaned.  
  
"We will never get his autograph this way.!" Random rabid fan girl number 21 announced, and then the grope left dragging their feet to school.  
  
*In the tree*  
  
"They are quite a pain." Kurama said.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Well, I best be going, school is going to start soon."  
  
"Why are you still going? Your brother is slowly slipping away." Hiei said bluntly.  
  
"Some things cannot be ignored." Kurama answered, and jumped off of the tree branch.  
  
~§~  
  
Droplets of salty tears made watermarks on a blue pillow as cheerful sunrays poured in Shuiichis room. At that moment he wanted to kill the sun, and more.  
  
"I hate this." He cried into his pillow, taking sharp breaths of air, "No one should be afraid of themselves." Shuiichi started coughing as air got caught in his throat, "Why must I be like this?! Why me?! When will it be all over?!" He curled up in a little ball, like an innocent young child who has lost his parents, and can't seem to find them.  
  
"Will I ever get better?" He said quietly as he drifted into a turbulent sleep.  
  
********Later That Day*********  
  
"So, you are back. When is he coming back to school?" The front desk secretary asked bluntly as she shifted through stacks of papers.  
  
"I am not sure, he seems to be getting worse." Kurama replied.  
  
"You have my sympathy, here is his work. Have a nice day." The blond lady said shortly.  
  
"Thank you." He said quietly and left the school.  
  
**********  
  
Shuiichi, upon hearing the front door close, looked up from his pillow and wiped his red eyes with the long blue sleeve of his sleep shirt. (A/N: I could not think of another way to put it.) 'Must be Kurama, I do not think Mother went out again.' He thought as he brought the covers over his head.  
  
Then Kurama knocked on his door, "Shuiichi? I have your homework."  
  
"I don't feel like doing it right now." Came a muffled voice from beyond the door.  
  
"You will have to do it some time or another."  
  
"I know, I know."  
  
"Well, when ever you feel like completing it all, just ask me, I will keep it in my room." Kurama stated, and left to do his own work. (A/N: Talking about work, by the time I get home from school, my backpack weighs around 50-60 pounds, not counting my gigantic purse where I can fit an 800 page hard bound book and a binder. Back to the story ^_^.)  
  
~§~  
  
"Shuiichi? Shuiichi? Can you come out for a second?" Shiori called in front of his door.  
  
Shuiichi reluctantly opened the door and stepped out, his eyes still red from crying.  
  
"Shuiichi! What happened?" Shiori asked with concern showing in her eyes and voice.  
  
"I am just sick of it all mother," Shuiichi started, breaking down and started crying again and put his head on Shioris shoulder when she sat down next to him.  
  
"I know, I know." Shiori said softy, because she could not say or do any thing more, except to be there when he needed a shoulder to cry on, a voice of hope, and a warm, loving hug.  
Yes, I know this was short, except this to happen once in a few chapters. You want to know why this happens? Because I get really great inspiration from the weirdest of things. Like today, all of the freshmen math and science classes went to Kennedy Space Center, and well, at least I brought my notebook along ^_^  
  
Also I have a quick question. Should I finish this story quickly, and get to the climax, or do you want me to illustrate it more, go more in depth?  
  
You know you want to click it. Doesn't your curser just want to click that button? 


	4. Pains in my Heart

Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, you no sue!  
  
If you have been wondering where Kuramas stepfather has been, lets just say on a business trip?  
  
~* *~ Means it was said in some ones mind. Don't ask, just read.  
  
* Means I have information on the character at the end of this chapter, because I don't know if any of you read episode summaries, or got that far in the series.  
  
Guess what? I found a really good MP3 from Gravitation, and that is what influenced this chapter. It is called Sleepless Beauty (Sacred Beauty Air mix). I knew Gravitation always has music I like, but I never knew they had music like THIS. Okay, onto the chapter ^_^.  
  
Chapter Four Pains in my Heart  
  
~Fallen angels always have to fall again~  
  
Shuiichis finger glazed over the sharp edge of the knife, testing its sharpness. He wiped the red sticky blood off of his finger on his blue pants. Then, his family and life accomplishments flashed before his eyes. His school projects, the weeding of his father and step mother, climbing the cherry blossom tree in the back yard with his step brother.  
  
He quickly found a blue ball-pointed pen and a yellow legal pad by the phone on the counter.  
  
~Hate, pain, hunger, anger, leave with the beating of white wings~  
  
Mother, Father, Brother, It pains me to have to leave you this way, but I cannot stay in this world any longer. I cannot bare the sight of seeing your sad faces any more.  
  
I love you all very much, much more then you can even guess. When you find this, please do not cry, I will finally be free. I want you to be happy for me, because I will no longer be in any pain. As I am writing this, I cry. I am nervous, and excited, because I will finally flee from the pain, the agony, and sadness.  
  
I love you all, so very much, Shuiichi.  
  
With that, Shuiichi laid down the pen by the pad of paper. With his hand trembling, he picked the knife up and stared at it for a couple of seconds.  
  
Then, he heard the front door close and Shuiichi panicked, 'what if they find me like this!? What will they do?!'  
  
"Shuiichi! We are home!" His father called.  
  
~Come, fallen angel, fly again~  
  
Shuiichi took a deep breath of air as his brother walked in the kitchen, "Hi Shuiichi! Uh. What's wrong?" Kurama asked as he heard soft crying, "Is that a knife!?" Kurama asked alarmed.  
  
"What is going on?" Shiori asked as she entered the scene that was unfolding.  
  
"Shuiichi, calm down, let us help you." Kurama said calmly as he could.  
  
"What are you doing Shuiichi!?" Hatakana cried.  
  
"I am beyond help." Shuiichi stated quietly, and punctured his skin on his chest with the knife.  
  
It was as if the world was going in slow motion through Kuramas eyes. The knife slowly entered Shuiichis body as blood started to seep out. Then it pierced through mussel tissue, and protruded through the heart.  
  
~Oh, angel, come fly in the pure light of the sun and moon~  
  
"Shuiichi!" Shiori ran forward and caught her son as he fell backwards.  
  
Shuiichi started coughing up blood, "I love you."  
  
Shiori started crying as Kurama ran forward, speechless.  
  
~~~~  
  
"Shuiichi?" Kuramas voice registered in Shuiichis mind.  
  
Shuiichi blinked a couple of times as the world came into focus and he heard a doctors voice in the background, "His condition has been deteriorating slowly. I wish to keep him under close surveillance for the next couple of days. It was the pain he was going though that blacked him out." (A/N: Come on, do you think I would kill him off right there? Nah, I want to play with him some more ^_^''') 'It was. A dream?' He wondered as his eyelids slid closed again, 'I kind of wish it was not.'  
  
'I am getting tired of Koenma telling me what to do and what not to do.' Kurama complained in his mind as he monitored his stepbrothers condition in his mind, 'Should I? It cant hurt.' Kurama looked at the flowers that his mother had brought in for his stepbrother. He concentrated on them as he posed some of their life energy to his brother who was just barely hanging on by a weakened thread. "Shuiichi, please try to stay awake." Kurama asked.  
  
'Shuichi? He is here? Where is he?' Shuiichi could not move his head, for it was in a neck brace, "Why does my neck hurt so much?" He asked out loud, well, as loud as he could have.  
  
The adult's heads in the room whipped around at the sound of Shuiichis voice, "You are up Shuiichi!!!" Shiori said joyously as she walked over to her sons bed side, "You blacked out on the stairs, and then you fell down them." 'I must be strong for him.' She thought as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve.  
  
"You gave us quite a scare." Hatakana admitted, joining his wife's side and looking down at his son with tears threatening to bust through his carefully constructed floodgates.  
  
~*Kurama, come out side*~ Hieis voice commanded in Kuramas head.  
  
'I wonder what this could be for.' Kurama wondered as he stood up from his chair on the opposite wall of his brothers' bed, and walked over to his parents.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Kurama asked Shuiichi.  
  
"Painful, my lungs are burning and my neck is killing me."  
  
"Is there any thing we can do?" Shiori asked.  
  
"I don't believe there is any thing you can do. I will be giving him some pain medicine in a few minutes." A nurse answered for Shuiichi as she read the doctors note that was on the blue counter.  
  
After a few minutes, Kurama left the room on the excuse that he wanted to get some fresh air.  
  
~§~  
  
"Yes Hiei?" Kurama asked out loud when he was out side.  
  
Hiei stepped out of the shadows with a large white envelope in his left hand.  
  
"Let me guess, this is from Koenma?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Hn." Hiei tossed the envelope to Kurama and then left.  
  
Kurama's eyes glanced at the envelope, reading 'Open in Makai for safety reasons.' He then took a deep breath, knowing what the papers held; he did not even have to look at the first line to guess.  
  
~§~  
  
"You are a pretty good rock skipper." A voice said behind Kurama.  
  
"Thanks father, I have had a lot of practice of the last few months."  
  
"It reminds me what I use to do before the school bus came. My friends and I use to walk a few feet from the bus stop, and skip stones. Some times we had tournaments between our selves, and the winner got a dollar or the others spare change." Hatakana laughed.  
  
Kurama smiled, "Sounded like fun. Did you ever win any?"  
  
"Actually, out of all of them, I think I won three to five. I really was not good at skipping stones then, and I believe I am still like that to today."  
  
Kurama found a smooth round stone and handed it to his stepfather, "Do you want to try?"  
  
"I guess it can do no harm." Hatakana shrugged and took the stone. Then, with it resting in his grasp, he flung it across the water, "1, 2, 3. 5. Five skips, not bad. If you can beat that, I will give you five dollars."  
  
"Okay then." Kurama said as he looked at the pebbles that surrounded the man made pond, and chose a round tan colored stone, "Here goes nothing." And threw the stone across the water.  
  
"1, 2, 3, 4. 7?!" Hatakana commented astounded.  
  
Kurama laughed, "Some of my friends taught me to skip stones a different way. Do you want me to teach you?"  
  
"No thanks, I am too worried sick about your brother. Maybe some other day?"  
  
"Sure, be glad too."  
  
~§~  
  
"How much longer do I have to live?" Shuiichi asked a nurse that was switching his IV bags.  
  
The nurses eyes grew wide, she had never, in all of her career, been asked that question from a young teenager, "I am sorry, but I do not know. The doctor would."  
  
Shuiichi took a deep breath and closed his eyes, for the pain was almost intolerable.  
  
~§~  
  
'Kurama, You should know how I hate to do this, but you cannot step in and help out, it will disrupt the rhythm of many lives, and off set the balance. I am sorry, but I cannot have you do that.  
  
If you proceed to help out, even in little ways, I will be forced to tell Yusuke to kill you, and then your brother.  
  
Koenma.'  
  
Kurama sighed and leaned agents the trunk of a mighty tree. Earlier that day, he had told his mother and father that he would be leaving for the next half of the day, to get his mind off of things. So, he went to Makai where he could find sanctuaries in certain parts of the land.  
  
He turned his head to glance at the rest of papers that looked like scans of many rulebooks Koenma was forced to fallow. Each page contained information on what steps were to be followed if a demon interrupted another person's death, which happened rarely.  
  
He then closed his eyes and started reflecting on the certain events that made his life roller coaster more nauseating. Sadness filled his heart and mind, as he felt calming, flowing energy course through his body.  
  
~On the other side of Makai~  
  
"So, Youko Kurama is back." Yomi* muttered.  
  
~§~  
  
* Yomi: Youko Kuramas second in command when he had the ring of thieves. One day, Youko Kurama was getting ticked off at him, so he hired an assassin to kill him, but that assassin did not succeed in killing Yomi, but ending up blinding him (that is why his eyes are closed all the time). Long story short, now Yomi is part of the three emperors, and yea, you will just have to see or read the episodes.  
  
I have an music video out that contains some (a lot) of Yomi footage, I have it, but it is burned to disk, and I cant remember the name of it for the life of me. I will probably have it by next chapter.  
  
~§~  
  
Yea, I know, it was short. The reason for the shortness is because I have a life, and midterms are approaching me. In other words, I have to study for them.  
  
This is just great, I have not started chapter five yet, and I like to be one chapter ahead of my self. I guess I am going to do what I did in Lavender Tears, stay up all night on weekends and write, write, and write, since I study on week days. Oh, speaking of Lavender Tears, if you like DBZ, Trunks, angst, and fighting fathers and sons, I recommend it for you.  
  
One question, what would you like to see happen, do you have any ideas? If you give me a suggestion, I will give you credit, of course, and a nice e- mail. I know where I want to go with this story, and I know how I am going to end it, it is just the body of the story I some times have trouble with.  
  
If you read the chapter, I would like some feed back ^_^ 


	5. Black Hearts

Disclaimer: It seems at this current time I am out of good disclaimers. Here is a quick one; I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  
This chapter has a lot of real facts that I found out a long time ago. Go here if you want to learn more of what happens later in the series.  
  
A brief note on my life. An acquaintance/friend of mine at school, she told me today (Which is 3/3/03) that her friend committed suicide. He left her, and only her, a note, that was covered in his blood. Lovely no?  
  
Oh! This fic is A/U, that means nothing matters in what happened in YYH, so I am free to torture and incorporate any thing I wish *evil laughter*.  
  
Chapter 5 Black Hearts  
  
*Back Tracking*  
  
How many times did you take a double look at the sharp edge of a knife?  
  
Have you ever contemplated testing its sharpness?  
  
Would you dare?  
  
Did you dare?  
  
In Shuiichis case, he did contemplate, and he did dare to test the sharpness a while back. It was a few weeks after he was diagnosed with the disease, and his mother had asked him to put away the plates and knifes for her so she could return the library books before they had a late fine.  
  
The kitchen had bright, warm rays of sunlight pouring in from the open windows, and it was reflecting off of the metal into Shuiichis distant eyes as he was placing the large knifes into the block that held them.  
  
His eyes moved back to the knife that he had just inserted in the block. Shuiichis hand seemed to reach out to it on its own accord, and his fingers wrapped around the handle. He had nothing to lose at this moment, so he pulled it out.  
  
Shuiichi started rotating it around in his hand, looking at the blades smooth contours, pondering about how much it would hurt to drive it into his heart. He looked around the kitchen and then walked over to the doorway to make sure that no one was coming.  
  
Shuiichi then closed his eyes as the blade made contact with his left wrist, and cut across it, leaving blood behind. He dropped the knife and fell on his knees, holding his cut wrist.  
  
After a few moments, he managed to stagger up to his feet, still holding his other wrist to keep the blood from falling onto the floor, but some if it did seep from his hand and dropped to the floor.  
  
He hastily turned on the sink and stuck his left wrist under the cold, soothing flow. His right hand pumped some soap out of the container and then applied it onto the cut. Shuiichis eyes narrowed from the stinging, but that went away in a few seconds, 'How do I explain what just happened?' Shuiichi thought urgently. He grabbed a sheet of paper towels, and wrapped those around his wrist as he walked over to the end of the cabinets to retrieve the fist aid kit.  
  
Shuiichi opened it with his right hand and took out the gauze and the tan cloth wrapping. He took the paper towels that were quickly getting colored from the blood, and replaced it with gauze, and then wrapped his wrist with the tan cloth.  
  
That was the first time Kurama ever felt his brother slipping ever so slowly into murky darkness that would ultimately result with his soul leaving his body.  
  
******************************  
  
'I told my self that I would never come back into this form.' Youko Kurama thought dejectedly as he took a piece of long silver hair that was in front of his eyes, and put it to the other side.  
  
He was still sitting in Makai, his mind awash with his own thoughts and regrets.  
  
Youko Kuramas left ear turned a little to pick up where the sound of some one walking came from. "Hello, Yomi."  
  
"What brings you out here, and in that form?"  
  
"I just need to think on some topics, and also it is easier to deal with my feelings in this form."  
  
"I had thought you vowed not to transform into this form ever again, because it confused you."  
  
"Certain times bring certain actions."  
  
"So you are saying that you are running?"  
  
When Youko Kurama did not reply, Yomi kept on talking, "When you run away, from your feelings, it takes things a lot longer to get done." He reached down to the white envelope, and flipped through the papers, "What has been your stepbrothers one wish that he thinks can never come true?"  
  
~Flash Back~  
  
"Brother?"  
  
Kurama took his had off of the door handle and turned around, "Yes?"  
  
"I know this will sound silly and childish, but ever since you told me that story with the silver haired kitsune, I always wanted to meet him. He seems brave, fearless, and. cool. Where did you get the idea of a character like that?"  
  
Kurama smiled faintly to him self, "You can never make a characters personality with out knowing it first. I got the idea for hime from some people who have passed through my life."  
  
"I have been always hoping for fiction tales to come to life. It is a good escape when you are board with your current life. Do you think you can make another story featuring him, just incase I end up in the hospital?"  
  
"Sure, I would be glad to."  
  
~End Flashback~  
  
"I would get killed for it."  
  
"Why would you care any ways? You have two forms, so only one can get killed." Yomi stated.  
  
"Then some one else would come in and kill him, there would be no sense in the act."  
  
"Then why don't you just kill him your self?"  
  
Youko Kuramas' face turned inquisitive at Yomis remark, so Yomi explained his statement, "He is going to die slowly, if I recall you stating about certain diseases that you learned to manipulate quite a long time ago?"  
  
"Yes, it is true." Youko Kurama said with his voice seeming like it was far away, "I better get back."  
  
"You use to tell me, 'do what is right, and not what any one else thinks is right'."  
  
Youko Kurama stood up and nodded his head, "Thank you." Then, he walked away.  
  
Yomi stood there, watching his old friend leave, "And one of the differences, between you and I." His voice trailed off as a warm wind ruffled his long black hair.  
  
~§~  
  
"You are finally back!" Shiori said softly, for Shuiichi was asleep, "You gave your father and I quite a scare for a few moments."  
  
"I am sorry, I just had to have some time to my self, to think about things."  
  
"That is normal, we all need to do that at times. Do you mind if you stay here with your brother while your mother and I go back home to gather some things and take a shower? Do you need any thing?"  
  
"Shuichi is going to go back home tonight, because he has school tomorrow." Shiori stepped in, "I was planning to stay at home with Shuiichi, and you could stay here."  
  
~§~  
  
"Brother?" A weak voice asked as his eyes opened and glanced around the moon-lit room.  
  
"Yes? What do you need?" Kurama asked as he stood up from a plastic chair that was a few feet away from Shuiichis bed.  
  
"I want to be well again. I am in so much pain."  
  
Kuramas eyes grew cool as he made an emotional barrier around him self, but he could not help the pain his heart was experiencing, "I wish I could do that for you, but I cannot. Would you like to hear the story I promised for you?"  
  
Shuiichis eyes lighted up, well, as much as they could of, and he nodded his head. Kurama took the chair that his stepfather had pulled over to the foot of the bed and placed it at the head of the bed, "This story is about the kitsunes second in command. The kitsunes second in command was basically the complete opposite of the kitsune; he never gave any thought to any action he took.  
  
One day, the kitsune had enough of his second command. Instead of killing him himself, he hired an professional murder."  
  
******  
  
"So, that is what really happened." Hieis voice came from the window.  
  
Kuramas head nodded towards his stepbrother, "He might hear, keep it down."  
  
"So? He is going to find out sooner or later. You should know that."  
  
Kurama smiled, "I know that I am not you, but does Yukina eve know who you are yet?"  
  
"Hn, stupid fox."  
  
"I believe you might see where I am coming from, since basically, I am in the same situation you are in."  
  
"Hn."  
  
~§~  
  
I know, short. Guess what? I am sick, so I really don't care about the length. I cut out some parts that I was not sure about, and they were two pages.  
  
I noticed that I got one review on the last chapter. Did the last chapter stink? Is any one reading this story? I also need to know, should Shuiichi find out that Kurama is. Not who he really seems? I need to know these things!!!  
  
Please review!!! 


	6. Wings of Tears

Disclaimer: What *is* reality? Am I real, or a figment of some ones imagination? What is stronger, your truth, or my fiction? Is the world of YYH the reality, and we are but the fiction? Any ways, this is supposed to be a disclaimer _. I do not own YYH.  
  
Thanks for the reviews! You guys made me smile, thank you so very much! I hope all of you who reviewed, got my little animation I made ^_^ 3  
  
Chapter Six Wings of Tears  
  
~Let me take your hand, and guide you to paradise. Let me wrap my wings around you, as you drift off into internal rest. I will guide you. Do not be afraid.~  
  
Shuiichis eyes flew open as he released his tight grip on the bed sheets. His forehead was dotted with sweat beads, and his chest was rising and falling sharply, as if his lungs were being squeezed in an iron fist.  
  
He did not remember what happened well, every thing flowed by in a blur. Shuiichi remembered nurses rushing about his room, his father comforting his mother. He caught a glimpse of his stepbrother in a corner, watching everything with a blank face, 'I have seen, or been told, about that attitude before, but where?' Shuiichis last thought was before his world blacked out.  
  
*****************  
  
"We will have to keep him here longer then I thought." Shuiichi heard.  
  
"What happened to him? Why did that happen!?" Hatakana asked, slightly angered because no one ever seemed to tell him anything.  
  
"We are trying to figure that out. He may have come in contact with a virus, reacted to one of the medicines. There are many possibilities," The doctor stated sullenly, "There was nothing that we could have done to prevent this." He then wrote some things on his clipboard in that illegible doctor handwriting that most doctors are famous for.  
  
"What are you going to do now?" Shiori asked.  
  
"We are going to keep him under close observation." Shuiichi heard the doctor say, and then he stopped paying attention to the conversation his parents were having with a white-jacketed doctor, 'I wonder where Shuichi is.' Shuiichi thought tiredly, 'There he is. reading. I wonder why some times he reminds me.' "Mom?" Shuiichi managed to whisper.  
  
Shiori left the conversation and hurriedly walked over to her stepsons' bedside, "Yes, honey?"  
  
". I am scared."  
  
"Aw, don't be. Soon, you will get better." Shiori said confidently, even though her heart was shattered like an old stained glass church window.  
  
"What if I don't? What will happen then?"  
  
"We will think about that if that is what it comes to be." Shiori answered softly as she held her stepsons hand.  
  
~§~  
  
"Do you want me to go home and check up on things?" Kurama asked around thirty minutes later, breaking the uneasy silence.  
  
"Hum? Oh, yes, that would be great." Hatakana answered, looking up from a random hospital magazine and smiled the best he could.  
  
"Could you also please bring us the mail?" Shiori asked, falsifying a smile.  
  
"Sure, is there any thing else I can bring back for you?" Kurama asked, standing up and moving towards the closed wooden door.  
  
"Can you please buy some flowers back? They will brighten up the room a little." Shiori asked as she opened her pocket book and handed Kurama some money.  
  
"I'll be back soon." Kurama promised, and headed out the door that he had been wanting to head out of for the past thirty minutes, so he could enclose himself in his thoughts with out having his parents asking him what was wrong.  
  
~§~  
  
"Can I help you with any thing, sir?" A sales man at the out door flower stand in the Tokyo park asked politely as Kuramas eyes skimmed over all the bouquets that looked fine and fresh to the bare eye, 'most of these with out modern chemicals would most likely die within days to a week.' Kurama mused, "Not right now, thank you." He answered curtly.  
  
The strong golden sunrays touched upon each petal and leaf, making the mist that was sprayed on the cut flowers gleam with light that seemed to emanate from all of the fallen angels that were bound to Earth for some sinful deed they had achieved decades ago.  
  
Kurama picked out a simple arrangement of sunflowers with cheerful yellow roses and springs of green ferns and scattered babies breath, "Umm. Sir? I would like to purchase this please." Kurama asked a little loud, to get the sales mans attention.  
  
"Oh, yes," The middle aged, black haired man moved over to where he had a chair, and beside it, a middle sized, green money box.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama fished around in his pocket, and then finally located a key ring that had about five or so keys attached. He looked at every key, in till he came upon a key that had a black permanent marker line across the top. Kurama then inserted it in the lock and turned it, then walked inside his dark house that seemed to be housing a dark, sticky, morose air that was piling up in each corner. It was as if the air was weaving cobwebs out of sadness, crisscrossing them across the room, anchoring them from the walls, and onto the furniture.  
  
Kuramas eyebrow rose at the atmosphere of the room, but he was quite expecting it to be like this. He laid down the bouquet of flowers on the maple coffee table, and then Kurama drew the shades on the windows back, and then proceeded to raise the glass window to let in the fresh air it was keeping out. He then picked up the cheery bouquet, and proceeded towards the kitchen.  
  
The air in the kitchen was worse then of the living room. It was like molasses, evilly sweet and sticky, wanting to suck out all the happiness out of your very bones. The room smelled faintly of broken dreams and promises, freshly shed blood and tears, all mixed up in a blender.  
  
Kurama also opened the curtains and windows in hopes of airing out the room. He then walked over to the kitchen counter and took the flowers out of the paper they were in, and then placed them on the counter. Kurama then opened the overhead cabinet and took out a green glass vase, and then filled it with water. While he was doing this, the colors of the sunflowers, yellow roses, and ferns grew more intense, vibrant and healthy looking. The white babies breath turned more pure, innocent looking. Then, the single stemmed yellow roses grew a few branches, and yellow budded roses appeared.  
  
~§~  
  
After Kurama had placed the flowers that he had doctored a little, he crossed the room and brought the window down a bit, till there was a slight crack left to let air circulate the room. He then went back to the counter and picked up the vase, and walked back to the living room, also leaving those windows with slits to let the air in, and then left.  
  
Before going back on the sidewalk, Kurama stopped and got the mail out of the mailbox with his spare hand.  
  
***************  
  
On Kuramas way back to the hospital, scattered amounts of dreamy-eyed girls started whispering in little huddles wondering who the flowers could be for. Kurama did not pay any attention to them; he was inside his own head, thinking about many things at once.  
  
"I wonder who the lucky girl is." A girl whispered to her best friend.  
  
"I say we follow him and see where he goes." The girl's best friend whispered back and smoothed out her long dark bluish-black hair.  
  
The strawberry blond girl nodded back at her best friend and they started walking quite a distance behind their hero, whispering and giggling back and forth between the two of them.  
  
A warm spring wind picked up, playing gleefully with every thing that got in its way, "I wish I had brought my camera." The strawberry blond whispered to her friend.  
  
"I know! Just look at him!" The blue-black haired girl replied dreamily.  
  
~§~  
  
The two girls stopped at the entrance to the hospital, blinking and bewildered, "The hospital.?" The strawberry blond haired girl voiced her thoughts, and then grabbed her friend's hand, "Lets let him be." And the two friends walked away.  
  
~§~  
  
"Those look wonderful!" Shiori commented brightly as Kurama set the vase down on the nightstand wooden that was next to his stepbrothers' bed. Kurama smiled weakly and crossed the room over to his father, and handed him the mail.  
  
"Thanks for getting it," Hatakana thanked Kurama, who in return, nodded, "I opened the windows a little, to let air in. The hose was quite musty."  
  
"Thank you Shuichi." Shiori smiled.  
  
"Do you know when he will be able to come home?" Kurama asked, starting a conversation.  
  
"Not yet, but as soon as he gets well enough, we are going to take him home." Hatakana answered.  
  
"But, we will most likely have a nurse come visit us daily, to check up on him. She will teach us how to change his IV bag just in case he starts to feel worse, and she is not able to get to our home quickly." Shiori stated with a shadow falling over her face.  
  
"Oh." Was all Kurama could say, for no words could help heal his mothers spiritual wounds she was enduring.  
  
It was like an unseen ball, bouncing off of people. But this ball was not a ball made to have fun with, when it bounced into a person, it made them sad, bleak, dolorous, and woeful. This invisible ball was constructed over centuries of blood shed, and tears. Of hate and sorrow.  
  
After it one person, it did not stop in till it hit another. Some times it stayed in gropes of people, and some times it went to solo people. The result was the same. That ball was like a crazed ball game between innocent children, bouncing a ball back and forth in glee.  
  
***********************  
  
Hatakana and Shiori left for a near by restaurant to grab take out for lunch, leaving Kurama with Shuiichi.  
  
"Hey, Shuichi?" Shuiichis strained voice registered in Kuramas ears.  
  
Kurama got up out of his chair that was in front of a window, and walked up to his stepbrothers' bed, "yes? What can I get you?"  
  
"I. I was just wondering. This might sound foolish, but. I have never seen flowers like that, come from a floral store."  
  
At that moment, Kurama remembered, the closer a person gets to death, the deeper their spiritual insight grows, "I must admit," Kurama lied, "That they were different, that is why I bought them."  
  
Shuiichis brow furrowed as his gaze was still on the bouquet, "For some reason. I don't think that is possible."  
  
~§~  
  
Hiii!!!! I think I am going to keep the length at five pages; it is much easier on me. This chapter went up quickly, because I have been staying home from school sick; so I stay up late because I can't go to sleep, due to the fact that I start coughing. And what makes it even lovelier is that my ENT is booked, and I have to find a new doctor ASAP because the one I have been seeing just closed her doors.  
  
I don't know when I will get the next chapter out, because this weekend, if I get better, I am going to my, I think aunt. not sure. birthday party just to get away from all my familiar surroundings. I might get ideas for this thing.  
  
Well, I guess I am going to start a e-mail list of who to e-mail when I update. If you wish to be on it, please include that in your review, and e- mail address. I will be e-mailing you through my parents e-mail, because it is much simpler for me to do that, because I am lazy.  
  
Oh, and ZeroCool, Kurama did vow not go transform back into Youko, but this fic is AU for my deranged entertainment purposes ^_^'''.  
  
Please review!!! 


	7. Broken Masks

Disclaimer: Yet another chapter. If you still have not been enlightened on the fact that I am only a teen and is too lazy to get her self a job, and her parents have not won the lottery yet. Then it would be pretty hard to own an anime. That means that I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  
Special thanks to: My good friend Melissa (AnimeFaerie) and person I met on line, Blood Roses, for handing me a jar of termites to take down my writers' block!!!!!!!! Also, to one of my fave magazines, Popular Science *evil laughter inserted here*.  
  
!Important! I have been finding a gazillion ways on how to spell Kurama's name. Some of the most appearing spellings I have been finding are Shuiichi, Shuichi, Shuuichi, the names are endless!!! I am using the spelling, Shuichi from my DVD.  
  
Chapter 7, Broken Masks  
  
~What happens, when you have a mask, tailored to fit, and you show it to the world?~  
  
~What happens when it breaks, and shows your true nature?~  
  
~Will you break, along with it, from all the shame?~  
  
In Kuramas case, he had tailored a mask to keep others safe from the truth. He never considered what he would do when some one pealed away that mask, and saw what history, and who he really is underneath that mask.  
  
*****************  
  
Shuiichi was released home from the hospital a week ago, and now has an at- home nurse, and his room was transformed to an equivalent of a hospital room. The moods at the home varied from sadness and contempt, no real joy was visible, as if it was a crime to be happy with something good that happened too you.  
  
*****************  
  
A bell rang in a noisy classroom, where teenagers were slinging rubber bands and throwing paper balls at random people, resulting in either the person throwing it back, or ignoring it, which happened rarely.  
  
Kuramas eyes went to slits as the fourth wad of paper landed on his desk where he had a thick book open, and was reading it. He sighed and took it off of his book and placed it on top of the slowly forming pile of wadded up paper.  
  
"He never throws it back. No matter how many times a day we throw paper at him." Kurama heard a blond haired boy commented to one of his friends.  
  
"Yea, I know. He never lost his cool with any one all of these years." The blond haired boy commented back to his friend.  
  
As the class heard high heals come in contact with the floor, almost every one made a mad dash to their desk before the teacher came into the classroom.  
  
Kurama placed his bookmark inside the book, closed it, and placed it under his seat just as his teacher placed her purse and gigantic coffee cup on her desk then sat down, "Good morning class." She said happily.  
  
"That would be an oxymoron." A boy grumbled sleepily from behind Kurama.  
  
"Now, class," The blackish blue haired, medium height in black dress pants and a red silk t-shirt started as she pushed up her black framed glasses, "Today, you are going to start researching for a lecture that you are going to deliver to the class. I am going to be passing out a packet explaining what topics you can choose from, and how I would like the speech produced. If you have any questions, after I pass out the packets, please ask me." She stated as she got out of her black leather chair and passed papers to the students who sat in the front rows.  
  
A dirty-blond haired, hazel-eyed girl raised her hand just as she got her packet, "Genji-san?"  
  
"Yes Anzai?" The teacher asked girl, "What is your question?"  
  
"Do we have to do this?"  
  
The teacher smiled kindly, for the student was a kind-hearted girl, but just a tad lazy, "If you would rather write a 20 page report and have a visual about human reproduction, you could do that instead."  
  
The girl called Anzai turned slightly pink and shook her head. Her friend who was sitting beside her laughed softly, "Sarissa, you should know better then to ask that type of thing by now."  
  
"Please kindly shut your mouth Mikaa." Sarissa asked politely. (A/N: *snicker* Inside joke. Right Mikaa-Chan.?)  
  
"Now class, I gave you choices in what you can write your report based on, you cannot write it on any thing else. Please be sure that all of your sources are reliable and that you give them proper credit." Mrs. Genji advised as she walked back to her seat, "Please take the time I give you in class and put it to good use. I have found all of these topics on the web, with enough to write a decent report."  
  
Kurama had opened his packet and looked at the listing of topics. There was many, but only one he was interested in, the possibility of life on Venus. (A/N: Yup, that is right, Venus! ^_^)  
  
With that, the teacher left the class to their own devices. Only a few scurried over to the computers, but the rest either started writing about what they already knew on paper, started goofing off, or. Went over to ask Kurama which topic he thought was the easiest to research.  
  
"Hey, uhhh. Minamino? What would you say is the easiest?" A short black haired boy asked.  
  
"It all depends on your interests." Kurama answered heartlessly as he started writing down all the things he knew about the planet Venus. He then glanced up at all the people who had gathered around him, and he promptly pulled out a green binder from underneath his desk and placed the paper inside it. Kurama then pulled out a different assignment randomly and acted like he was working on it, then all of his classmates who had gathered around him, left.  
  
Kurama sighed tiredly and shook his head. He then opened the binder again and took out the sheet of paper and resumed to jotting down facts that he remembered.  
  
*****************  
  
"Kurama? You there?" Yusuke asked from where he was leaning on Kuramas white bedroom wall and looking at Kuramas presently not-all-there face composer.  
  
"What's wrong red? You don't seem there." Kuwabara observed from his seat on the floor where he had all of his schoolbooks around him. It was a warm and sunny Saturday and Yusuke and Kuwabara came over to Kuramas' house for help with their exam that was next Monday.  
  
Kurama blinked quickly and smiled weakly then turned back to his work that he presently had on his computer screen, "I'm sorry, my mind seems to be drifting a lot."  
  
"Look," Yusuke started, "it wont be worth it. You will end up dieing, and your brother also. It wont be worth even trying, I don't feel like killing you."  
  
"Oh, no, I am not thinking about that. It is just that, as a person gets closer and closer to death, they become more keen to spirits and non-human like things." Kurama stated quietly, making a jester to keep his friends voice levels down.  
  
"You mean that you think that your brother will discover the things that go on in your life?" Yusuke ventured.  
  
"Not only that, but who I was." Kurama corrected.  
  
"But how would he know that?" Kuwabara (A/N: You don't know how *hard* it is not to pick on him.) asked.  
  
"I have been making up 'fantasy' stories when he is sick, telling about a sliver haired kitsune and his adventures, and how he fell from his lofty place."  
  
"Why can't you take care of him like you did with Maya?" Yusuke asked.  
  
Kurama had a small smile, remembering that girl that stepped into his life, and then quickly out, for her own safety, "Things are different, she is still alive, and my stepbrother wont be. some time."  
  
"Yea, well, what's the difference?" Kuwabara asked closing one of his books that was at his right side.  
  
Kurama turned his computer chair to face Kuwabara and started explaining, "You see, when I use what I used on Maya, the Pollen of Forgetfulness, she was not harboring on the thin line of life and death, like my brother. This means, he really does not care what is going on, or results of something, so his spirit, literally is more headstrong now, where Mayas was not. True, the powder will cause him amnesia of any current events, but he will start to wonder things again soon after that. It will be an on going process in till he dies. The catch is that the doctors will start to notices the change in his memory."  
  
"Louse/louse situation." Yusuke slumped down on the door and onto the ground.  
  
Kurama turned back to his computer and started pulling up web pages that contained facts about the planets atmosphere and such.  
  
"So there is nothing that we can do to help?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
Kuramas head turned to the door when he heard the doorknob turn. Shiori walked inside as Yusukes eyes turned panicked, wondering the extent of what Kuramas mother overheard.  
  
"Help with what?" Shiori asked kindly, "Is there any thing I can do?"  
  
Kurama smiled, "We were just talking about a school project that I am working on. I have to find facts to support the hypothesis that there currently is or was life on Venus." Kurama partly lied.  
  
"But I thought they were over here to study?" Shiori asked.  
  
"Yea, we are, but we are just taking a break." Kuwabara answered.  
  
"Oh, is there any thing I can get you? Are you hungry? Would you boys like to have lunch now?  
  
"If you don't mind." Yusuke left the sentence hanging.  
  
"No, of course not. Shuichi rarely has any of his friends over." Shiori said happily.  
  
****************  
  
As the three young men were walking down the hall that led to the stairs, Kuwabara and Yusuke stopped by Shuiichis partly closed door.  
  
Kurama noted their absence behind him, so he turned around and joined his friends that were looking through the gap in the door and doorframe, "You can go in, he likes to see new faces once in a while."  
  
"Oh." And with that, Yusuke opened the door and stepped into Shuiichis mostly dark room.  
  
"Even the atmosphere is sickly." Kuwabara observed to him self as he took a step into Kuramas stepbrothers' room.  
  
"Nice observation Caption Obvious." Yusuke commented.  
  
"Shut up Urameshi."  
  
"Huh?" A drowsy voice came from a pile of bed covers.  
  
Kurama walked over to where the bed was and stood next to the IV stand, "These are two of my friends, Yusuke and Kuwabara. They have been concerned with how you are fairing for quite a while." Kurama said gently.  
  
"Oh, hi." Shuiichi weakly spoke as he slowly sat up, "I am really tired from this medication right now, I am sorry." He sadly smiled, as if he was acknowledging the burden he was carrying on his shoulders.  
  
"Oh! No! Don't say you are sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for." Yusuke reprimanded lightly.  
  
Shuiichi smiled as best as he could muster, which pained the three boys hearts, "Well, why don't we just leave him be?" Kuwabara ventured.  
  
"Wait." Shuiichi asked as Yusuke and Kuwabara started to turn around.  
  
"Yea?" Yusuke asked, "What's wrong?"  
  
Kurama took a step back from his stepbrothers' bed, he could feel his brothers' mind racing, trying to decide something.  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara both glanced at each other, for they also felt the same thing Kurama did.  
  
"You guys don't seem that. well. Normal." Shuiichi said seriously.  
  
~§§~  
  
Wee! I am done with chapter 7!!! Yea!  
  
Well, a little update on my life that influences how these chapters get published, my Aunt and I think soon-to-be-husband (are they engaged yet?) are coming down to the East Coast, where I live, and they are going to be here from Thursday (March 20th) too I think Saturday or Sunday. That means my mom, who is a clean freak already, will be even MORE of a clean freak, and I will have to help her. Well, me helping her results in me scribbling here and there on chapter 8. 


	8. Fairy Tails Merge with Reality

Disclaimer: You are here, once again, in your sweet insanity, prying your self from reality. Okay, I will stop quoting from a way cool song I found from my band See-Saw ^_^. I no own any anime, just like I don't own my own car.  
  
Chapter 8 Fairy Tails Merge with Reality  
  
Shuiichis heart was crying bloodied tears as he kept on trying to distinguish fantasy from reality. It was so hard, as if they had merged right under his nose, and with out a ripple in time.  
  
Time. Time it self was racing at a anguishing pace, as each second progressed, the world warped as vials were lifting from Shuiichis eyes, the very mists that had keep him safe all of his life, were reviling the dreadful truth. All the deception and lies that were told since the clock of creation had started ticking were removing their cloaks that they wore to cast a shadow over them selves.  
  
~§~  
  
'Sailieve, eva.' A deep female voice sang out inside of Shuiichis mind as he held his head in his hands, weeping tears of agony.  
  
"Shuiichi? Shuiichi? Are you okay?" Yusuke asked, stepping forward, but Kurama put out his arm to stop him, "Go to Makai, and ask a roadside peddler for the nearest place where you can get the pollen of forgetfulness from. Get it as quickly as you can, and as much as you can. I will try to keep him in here, but please, be quick."  
  
"What about Hiei? Do you want Hieis help?" Yusuke asked as Kurama lowered his arm.  
  
"If you can find him on your way, yes. But if you can not, that is fine."  
  
"Come on, let's get going Kuwabara." Yusuke stated hurriedly as he took quick steps to the door.  
  
"Wait."  
  
Yusuke turned around with a fearful glint in his eye as he made a few seconds of eye contact with Shuiichi, "Y-Yes?"  
  
Kuwabaras right hand started to twitch as Shuiichi said, "You never answered my question."  
  
~§~  
  
Shiori was humming a light tune as she walked up the stairs to see what her son and his friends were doing.  
  
As she turned the corner, Yusuke and Kuwabara were headed in the opposite direction, and rather quickly. "Is there something wrong?" Shiori asked.  
  
"Nothing too serious. You see. We forgot something at our houses, so we have to go to our homes really quickly, and we will be back soon." Kuwabara stated.  
  
"Oh, okay. See you boys soon then." Shiori said and turned around and walked back down the stairs with Kuwabara and Yusuke behind her.  
  
~§~  
  
"I am sorry, Shuichi, but. Many things are flooding my mind right now. I am sorry I even said such a thing. But. Some thing just does not feel normal about you."  
  
"Don't be sorry for what you are not truly sorry for." Was the only thing that Kurama could reply to safely.  
  
"Hm." Shuiichi said and closed his eyes tightly trying to not let out the tears of confusion seep out and streak down his face.  
  
Kurama walked over to Shuiichis bed and sat down, "Don't worry, every thing will turn out fine." He said gently.  
  
Shuiichi opened his eyes and looked up at his stepbrother through the tears that blurred his vision, "But I don't know what is real, any more." He stated and softly yawned.  
  
Kurama smiled softly, "Believe in your heart, for your brain perceives images and hearing, but the heart is blinded, for it has no eyes nor ears, only feelings." Kuramas eyes detected a flicker of movement from his stepbrothers open door, but paid it no mind.  
  
"If what you are saying, that means-" Shuiichis voice cut off as he was knocked unconscious.  
  
"Looks like I came in time."  
  
"Hiei! Why did you do that?"  
  
"Lying is truly an art, but should not be used at certain times."  
  
Kuramas eyebrow arched a little, then he looked at his currently unconscious brother who was currently slumped on Kuramas shoulder, "How hard did you hit him?"  
  
"Not that hard."  
  
"Hmm. Where were you when Yusuke and Kuwabara located you?"  
  
"I was in Southern Makai."  
  
Kurama nodded and gently repositioned Shuiichi on his bed and inspected the place where Hiei had hit him, "Looks like he will be unconscious for about two hours."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Why don't you stay up here with him so I can go downstairs for a minute?"  
  
Hiei nodded his head about an inch, walked over to a far corner, and sat down as Kurama left the room.  
  
~§~  
  
'It is nice and warm here, I never want to leave.' Shuiichi said inside of his dream.  
  
He was on a spotless beach, with crystal blue waves lapping up onto the sandy shore. Shuiichi waked a few steps into the clear waters of the ocean and looked up into the flawless blue sky at the seagulls that were dancing among the clouds.  
  
A warm breeze ruffled his hair playfully as he walked back onto the shoreline, the sand sticking to his wet feet as he walked along the shore. Shuiichi looked at the lush jungle that bordered the beach. He pondered about venturing in, to see what secrets it withheld. He decided against it, and kept on walking, for he saw a pile of boulders in the distance.  
  
Shuiichi walked over to the large black boulders, and climbed up them. It hurt his hands and feet just a little bit, but he really did not care, because the view was well rewarding, The waves crashing rhythmically into the boulders, the sun high up in the sky, casting its warm rays through the fluffy white clouds that dotted the sky with their humble happiness.  
  
Here, Shuiichi did not feel pain, nor sorrow. He could breath easier, and his eyes were full of life. He was back to normal; he did not have the IV in his arm, or any sign of it previously being there.  
  
A white feather danced down from the sky, as if it was lost from an angel's wing. He grabbed it out of the air, and turned it over in his hand, wondering where it came from.  
  
Shuiichi tilted his head up, looking for any sign in the sky, as from where the feather came from. He did not find any thing out of the ordinary, so he looked back out over the vast ocean. The water that was spraying up onto him was warm, so he set down the feather on the rock, watching that it did not get blown away as he took off his shirt, then to lay it on top of the angelic-like feather.  
  
Shuiichi climbed down from the boulders, and walked a couple of feet so he would not get swept into them by and currents. He then waded slowly into the clear, salty water, looking down at the sandy bottom to see if there were any fish.  
  
After he was in the waters, almost waist deep, he sat down on the bottom, watching waves out in the distant waters of the ocean. Soon, small fish came up to him to see who the alien in their waters was. The light that flowed through the water reflected off of their small scales.  
  
Shuiichi could not help but to laugh as one of the fishes tail made contact with his bare waist. Other fish were gathering, as the rest were leaving, content with their search.  
  
After thirty minutes, Shuiichi stood up in the water, and walked out with his kaki shorts sticking to his skin in every movement he made. He looked down at them, and shrugged, nothing could be done about them; they would just have to dry.  
  
He looked at the boulders where he had left his shirt, with the feather underneath it. His eyes widened with surprise as his mind told him that they were not real. It was a person, with wings!  
  
The thing in the distance that Shuiichi had saw, looked up from where it was sitting, with her knees pulled to her chest. She stood up, her long brown hair falling onto her back and light pink dress falling down to her ankles as she jumped off of the boulders, with Shuiichis shirt and feather in her grasp as Shuiichi stood in his tracks, dumbfounded.  
  
She walked up to him, a kind, warm smile on her flawless face and handed him his white t-shirt only, "I seemed to have lost this feather, thank you for finding it. I came to you in this dream, a figment of your imagination so I would not scare you in my true form. Good by, Shuiichi, and I shall see you once again." With a beat of her great wings, she flew off with her light pink dress dancing about her ankles.  
  
'What did she mean?' He thought, and then said out load, "That means that this is not real!" And then he cried out from the unbearable pain that came from the realization that he did not want to acknowledge.  
  
"I too, have come from an image in your imagination." A deep male voice proclaimed from behind him, "I am here to comfort you in your limited time in your personal sanctuary."  
  
Shuiichis head turned around to see who the person was. His eyes widened with surprise as his jaw gaped, "You. You are the person from the stories my stepbrother tells me!"  
  
The kitsune closed his eyes and lightly chuckled from amusement, "That I am."  
  
~§~  
  
"He should be awake by now." Kurama said worriedly.  
  
"Uh. What happened?" Kuwabara asked from the doorway.  
  
"It is about time you got here." Hiei said coldly to Kuwabara.  
  
Yusuke tiredly covered Kuwabaras mouth with his hand, "Would you please shut up?!" He asked annoyed.  
  
"Hiei knocked him unconscious. Shuiichi should have came back to by now."  
  
"I wonder if he can hear us.?" Kuwabara wondered out load.  
  
"I don't believe so, from the look on his face, and his heart beat, I would say it is near to impossible."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Did you locate the flower easily?" Kurama asked, looking over his shoulder.  
  
"Not really, but we did manage to find it. Now if I can only find it." Yusuke answered and started to rummage around in his pockets, and soon a sweat drop appeared on his head.  
  
"What did you do with it Urameshi?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"Don't you have it?"  
  
"Not that I can remember. I thought I gave it to you before we were chased."  
  
"You two fools lost it!?" Hiei yelled.  
  
"Not so loud, Hiei." Kurama asked, "In your back pocket, Kuwabara?"  
  
"Hm? I but I gave it to Urameshi."  
  
"No, you did not. It is in your back left pocket."  
  
Kuwabara reached into the pocket, and there it was, the tiny maroon flower, that looked like a star, but with the points rounded off.  
  
". Genus Kuwabara, genus." Yusuke commented.  
  
Kurama walked over to where Kuwabara was standing, dumbfounded, looking at the small flower, "May I please have it?" Kurama asked.  
~§~  
  
"But I don't want to leave! I am in no pain, I can take full breaths, and I don't have an IV constantly in my arm!" Shuiichi complained.  
  
"You can no longer run from what you are destine to fulfill in your life, no matter how short it is to be." The silver-haired kitsune said coldly.  
  
"Can I at least ask you one question?"  
  
The kitsune nodded his head.  
  
"What is real, and what is fantasy?"  
  
The kitsune was silent for a few moments, thinking on how to phrase his answer, "The human imagination is as vast as the universe, and humans do not know where it stops yet, nor what is out there. The meaning of reality is in the eyes of the beholder, but the meaning of fantasy is in the mind that controls the eye." The kitsune answered and then turned around and started back into the jungle from where he came from.  
  
"Wait! Where are you going?" Shuiichi called.  
  
"Home, and where you should be going." He answered as his white robes billowing in the breeze, "You have people there that worry about you constantly, and love you with all of their heart. While I am feared and loathed, and never experienced pure love. Regain conscious, young Shuiichi."  
  
~§~  
  
Wee! Another chapter done! I hope you all liked it, and if you think it is short, I am sorry. I have relapsed into the ear infection that has been prolonging its time in my ears, which hurt like hell fire.  
  
I am going to get started on the next chapter soon. If you wish to be notified when the next chapters are going up, leave me a notation in your review *hint hint* *nudge nudge* and your e-mail address. I will be notifying you from my parents e-mail, because it is much easier for a lazy person like me.  
  
Oh! I almost forgot to tell you! I have a live journal ^_^ Almost every two entries, I put of little clips of the chapter that I am currently writing. Or, I post short, dark stories. Go on and check it out if you are board, I have the URL in my profile, at the top where it says 'home page'.  
  
You see that little button? *nudge nudge* 


	9. Fallen

Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue. I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, so you no sue!  
  
Heh heh heh *evil crackle* I had inspiration. I figured out a way to make it work with out inserting OC's. Heh heh ehe. )  
  
I have submitted this fan fiction to Morgan D (Solitude of a Falling Star), and got accepted. She pointed out to me that I am using the wrong name spelling for Shuuichi, so I am starting to spell Kuramas step brothers name that way, starting this chapter, in till I see how she spells Kuramas human name *sweat drop*.  
  
Chapter Nine Fallen  
  
"Regain consciousness, Shuuichi, it is in your best benefit." Shuuichi heard the kitsunes voice float back over to him.  
  
"Do I have any choice?" Shuuichi yelled in the direction the kitsune headed in.  
  
The kitsune emerged from the jungle looking highly annoyed, "There is no use yelling back and forth." He stated emotionlessly, "Yes, you do have two choices, stay and get killed, or leave and enjoy your life to the fullest."  
  
"You mean I can't stay longer, and just think over things? Like how you remind me about my stepbrother? And this little voice in the back of my head telling me that you are a part of my stepbrother?"  
  
The kitsunes eyes narrowed dangerously, "I am just a projection from your imagination, this is just a dream. Leave now or get killed, I am not afraid to kill any one, or any thing."  
  
"One quick question, how would that work? You said this is just a dream?"  
  
The kitsune sighed tiredly, "Your body is un-conscious, you, in your dream, are conscious. If I were to kill you, I would set your soul free."  
  
". Oh. One more question?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? I was just wondering how old you really are?"  
  
The kitsunes eyes flashed dangerously, "This is just your dream, I am however old you make me out to be."  
  
".Oh. Good bye, and thank you."  
  
"Good choice."  
  
~§~  
  
"He came back!" Kuwabara proclaimed joylessly when he saw Shuuichi.  
  
Shuuichi groaned and tested all of his limbs, "My head hurts."  
  
Kurama laughed softy, "You will be alright, it is just a little bump now."  
  
Shuuichi tried to sit up, but Kurama reprimanded him, "Just lie down, your equilibrium might be off from getting bumped on the head."  
  
Shuuichi nodded and laid back down slowly. His eyes scanned his room that was lit only from the window that was now open, "What bumped me on the head?"  
  
"You don't need to worry about that, and try to take deep breaths." Kurama instructed as he sprinkled fine white powder that was made from the small flower Yusuke and Kuwabara had gotten him, over Shuuichi nose.  
  
"Why? What is that!?" Shuuichi panicked.  
  
"I am sorry, but I have no other choice." Kurama admitted calmly.  
  
"Should we leave the room? Will it affect us?" Yusuke asked as Kuwabara pulled his shirt over his nose.  
  
Kurama laughed softly at the sight, "Don't worry, you both will be fine."  
  
~§~  
  
"Boys? Is every thing alright?" Shiori asked knocking on the door, then opening it a second later, giving Kurama enough time to send a look to Yusuke and Kuwabara that read, 'let me handle things', and ample enough time for Hiei to exit the room through the window.  
  
"Yes, we were just about to leave because he stated he was tired."  
  
"Oh? Shuuichi, would you like anything?" Shiori asked, and then waited a couple of seconds for him to respond.  
  
"He is fast asleep, mother." Kurama stated as he looked at his dozing stepbrother.  
  
~§~  
  
Later on that day, Yusuke and Kuwabara left Kurama's house so he could work on his report in peace. It was a wonderful day out side that was unspoiled by any over-passing fluffy white clouds, or a rough cold wind. The weather was picturesque, as if it was a piece of heaven. Kurama looked longingly out of his window, wishing that he could go out to the park and take a walk. But he knew that his mother would not allow it, insisting that he get the rough draft finished.  
  
He sighed and took his deep green eyes off of the open window and then focused them back on the computer screen, and started to type in a Microsoft Word Document where he already had eight pages typed.  
  
Then the paper clip Microsoft Office Document helper started tapping on the screen with a yellow light bulb over his head. Kurama's eyebrows knitted in annoyance as he right clicked the so-called 'helper' and then clicked 'hide'. He breathed a sigh of relief when the paper clip was gone, and then focused back on his schoolwork.  
  
After a half hour of typing his report, his brain seemed to recall something Yomi had told him a couple of days ago, "Then why don't you just kill him your self?"  
  
Kurama stopped typing and tiredly rubbed his eyes. He then leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling, 'Strange how quotes can surface randomly in your head.' He thought detachedly, 'Ah well, need to get back to work.'  
  
~§~  
  
The sun started to set, casting almost all of the colors of a painter's pallet into the sky. A soft, caressing spring breeze set in, smoothing out blades of grass and leafs on trees.  
  
Kurama was leaning on a red bricked wall that surrounded the inner city park, his eyes distant and looking out over the large park where couples sat underneath giant sakura trees on a blanket, laughing.  
  
He heard children laughing as they ran across the grass. Oh, how great it would to be innocent like a child, thinking that they understood certain topics, when they still had that haze lying over their eyes. Darkness lurked in children's lives, unheeded, waiting for the right moment to leap on them, taking down their innocent world.  
  
Then a blue, pink and yellow star printed ball bounced up to where Kurama was standing. Kurama smiled and picked up the ball when he saw a young girl, not much older then five, coming over to retrieve the ball.  
  
Kurama meet her half way and handed him the ball. She smiled the smile that was well known for young girls, "Thanks." She said with a little whistle that came from a gap that was in her smile.  
  
"Your welcome." Kurama answered, smiling the smile that children seemed to get out of him.  
  
Kurama then walked over to a near by wooden bench that was empty, sat down took a deep sigh, filling his lungs with the warm spring breeze. His eyes started to follow the young teenagers that were playing basketball. He then envisioned himself playing, and then he chuckled lightly at the thought.  
  
Kurama then let his eyes grow misty again, detaching himself from reality once more with ease.  
  
~  
  
Flashing red lights and squealing sirens ripped through the streets as cars quickly moved over to make room for a police car and ambulance.  
  
Kurama's eyes blinked quickly when he heard the sirens. His mind raced as he panicked about the thought that whipped into his mind, his brother. Kurama ran out of the park with people looking after him, but he did not care. He kept on running, gracefully dodging people, in till he finally reached his house.  
  
He opened the door quickly, and his green eyes landed upon his parents watching the news. Kurama sighed in relief when he saw his parents watching the news.  
  
Shiori looked up at Kurama, "What happened?"  
  
"I saw an ambulance, and I feared that-"  
  
Hatakana shushed the mother and son when breaking news flashed onto the TV screen. Kurama walked over to the couch where his parents were sitting, and sat down inbetween his mother and stepfather.  
  
"We have breaking news at this hour. A teenaged girl named Mayaa Hamacho committed suicide this evening. Authorities state that she was having an emotional breakdown at the time. In the other news." The black haired TV newswomen stated.  
  
Kurama's mouth gaped open as he just stared at the screen. Shiori bowed her head and put her hand on Kurama's shoulder.  
  
"I am guessing you knew her?" Hatakana asked.  
  
". Yes, I did. She moved away a while back." Kurama answered softly.  
  
~Flash Back~  
  
"The pollen of forgetfulness?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Yes, it will give her amnesia." A younger Kurama answered.  
  
~Back to current time~  
  
"This is horrible!" Shiori finally stated sadly with tears in her eyes, thus breaking the uneasy silence that had settled in the living room.  
  
'It seems that every thing that could go wrong in my life, has.' Kurama thought darkly as he dropped his head. Shiori tried to look at Kuramas eyes, which were curtained over with his red bangs.  
  
Shiori had learned a long time ago, that if she wanted to know how her son was feeling, and he was hiding it from her, she was to look into his eyes. But, when she discovered this, she did not know at that time that he could even shield his eyes to her, and thus, closing up his soul.  
  
Both Hatakans eyes moved over to his stepson, whom he loved so much, and hated when his stepson was in any type of pain, "Is there anything that we can do for you?" Hatakana asked, speaking for his wife.  
  
"I will be alright, I just need some time to my self." Kurama assured his parents, stood up, and left the room.  
  
When Shiori bent over to see out of the hall to make sure her son was out of hearing range, "Do you believe he will be alright?" She asked her husband.  
  
"I am not sure. One minute you think you know him, the next moment, you don't."  
  
"I know, I know. Well, I am going to go up stairs and check on Shuuichi and see how he is doing on his IV."  
  
"I believe I am going to go start dinner then." Hatakana stated.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama was sitting up, high in an oak tree that was beside his room window. He was idly playing with a vine that was climbing up the tree. He made it grow into various shapes as he thought over what might have happened if he did not give Mayaa amnesia all those years ago.  
  
'Maybe. Maybe there were other, un-paved forks in the road. But now, no one can find out what they were.' Kurama's attention was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard a tree branch snap back up, as if some one was on it.  
  
"Yes?" Kurama asked out load, "What is it, Hiei?"  
  
"Koenma wishes to see you." He said as he landed in front of Kurama, making the thick branch bend.  
  
"In the middle of the day?" Kurama asked.  
  
"He wishes to see you now, he gave me no further information."  
  
Kurama nodded his head and motioned for Hiei to move, "I am going to go inside to tell Mother that I am leaving. Tell Koenma I will be there soon."  
  
"Hn." Hiei answered and then with a black flicker, he was gone.  
  
~§~  
  
As soon as Kurama stepped out of his door, his mom ran up to him with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Shuuichi!!! It is horrible!!!"  
  
"What? What happened?" Kurama asked with his eyes looking troubled.  
  
"Your brother, he can't remember any thing that happened the past few weeks!!! We are taking him to the hospital right now."  
  
Kurama did not know what to say, he was the cause of it, and a pacifier sucking, tall blue hat wearing bad tempered toddler wanted to see him. Kurama did not say any thing for a few seconds, and then he finally responded, "Can I meet you at the hospital? I need to get something at school for my project."  
  
"Oh, yes, of course you may. Your father and I will be off now." Shiori said and then gave her son a kiss on the cheek, then dashed off.  
  
Kurama stood there motionless for a few seconds, looking at the empty space his mother use to be standing at, 'This is all caused by me. The pains I caused her in my early years in the body of a human, and now this. Caused by me.'  
  
I am so sorry, but I am going to have to end this chapter here. If it stunk, please don't tell me because even I believe it stunk. My life is basically living hell right now with the people I assumed to be my friends, so I have been out biking and walking a lot, thinking. I have had slim to non-existent time to work on this due to schoolwork and thinking in my own little comforting world. I don't know when I can get out the next chapter.  
  
Please review, and don't flame me. 


	10. Ghostly Hymns

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to .hack//SIGN music, and that would come before I own Yu Yu Hakusho, okay? I am also taking some lines from A Stray Child from .hack//SIGN, I don't own any of that either.  
  
Yes, Mayaa is a Yu Yu Hakusho manga character. They never did mention her last name though, so I had to make up one. HAW HAW HAW!! I am managing with out any original characters I am doing it! I am so proud of my self!!!!!!!  
  
Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I changed both of their names to the same spelling. I have had nagging e-mails sent to me about how that name is his spelling, and bla blab bla. I really don't care about how you spell either of their names; they will now be on spelt the same till I am proven wrong.  
  
Chapter 10 Ghostly Hymns  
  
"Yes, Koenma-sama?" Kurama asked coldly, he was getting tired of the toddler telling him what to do, and basically how to breath and where too.  
  
Koenma narrowed his eyes as he measured Kurama, "I can see you are mad at me," Kuramas eyebrow arched, "and want me to go to hell." Kurama's face remained cold and unemotional.  
  
Koenma continued, "I don't know what I can do for you though, you have been put in a horrible situation."  
  
Oni turned around from his desk, "But Koenma-sama, this is Kuramas family we are talking about! He has done so much for you all these years." Oni complained.  
  
"THERE IS NOTING I CAN DO THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!" Koenma screamed and waved his arms.  
  
"Can't you break some of the rules though?" Oni asked.  
  
"BUT THEN I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN FOR WEEKS ON END!!!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MAD MY FATHER WOULD BE?!!?!?!?"  
  
"Please calm down Koenma-sama, you have thrown Kurama and every one else into the pits of hell many times, and he has had his share of shedding his own blood many times..."  
  
Koenma sighed, "we will see what we can do, okay. The reason why I called you here is to show you someone. Botan?" Koenma called.  
  
Botan stepped into the doorway wearing her pink kimono and oar in hand, "Yes Koenma-sama?" She asked politely.  
  
"Can you please go get her?"  
  
"Yes, of course Koenma-sama." Botan stepped out of the doorway, hopped onto her oar, and flew off.  
  
Kurama looked questioningly at Koenma. Koenma answered the look Kurama was giving him, "Some one has been wanting to see you."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
~§~  
  
"This is very strange, we have never seen anything like this happen, ever." A white-jacketed doctor admitted plainly as held a clipboard in his right hand.  
  
"What can you do? Do you know if he will ever recover his memory?" Hatakana asked as calmly as he could, but he could not hide the beads of sweat that covered his face.  
  
"We are not sure. Like I have stated, the hospital staff and my self have never seen this occur before. We might have to ship him off to a specialist, and that could mean moving him to America."  
  
Shiori and Hatakana's mouths both dropped open at that statement. Finally, Shiori asked, "What do you think the chances of that are?"  
  
The doctor flipped through papers that were clipped to the clipboard, "Hmm. My self, I would say about a 45 percent chance."  
  
"Will you first move him to other facilities in Japan before we have to go to America?" Hatakana asked anxiously.  
  
"Yes, I want to explore all of our options before we have to move him to a different country to receive medical attention."  
  
"What are the other things you can do here though?" Shiori asked.  
  
"Run tests, sent him to a neurologist. There are many things. But my self, I do not think some of them will work, but it is worth giving it a try."  
  
"Could he have had a allergic reaction to something?" Shiori asked.  
  
"I think that is out of the question, because if you remember, we ran tests on him before on a small scale to see if he had an allergic reaction to any of the medications we were going to put him on. Now, if you don't mind, could you please go sit out in the hall, we need to run some tests on your son."  
  
~§~  
  
"M-Maya?" Kurama stuttered.  
  
There was a long black haired girl standing in the doorway. She wore a midnight blue kimono with a deep purple slash. She seemed quite nervous because her feet were moving back and forth, "Shuuichi?" She asked quietly, and then her voice grew strength, "Shuuichi, is that you? I did not know that you died!" She ran across the room as Botan entered the doorway, and hugged Kurama.  
  
Kurama's eyes grew wide then with his conflicting emotions, he put his hand on her shoulder, "No need to get upset."  
  
"Oh, Shuuichi, I never forgot about you." (A/N: Don't worry, I am not going to have those two pair up, I would do that the day I. I. Eat live snails OK?)  
  
Kurama looked up for some sort of help from either Koenma or Botan, and luckily, the two saw the look in his eyes. Botan could not help but to snigger quietly.  
  
"Okay, Mayaa, you will now be at rest, I believe you have to go now." Koenma stated.  
  
Maya removed her arms that were wrapped around Kurama, and preceded to sulk out of the room.  
  
"Wait." Kurama called.  
  
Maya's eyes grew wide as she turned around to face Kurama, "yes?"  
  
"I would like to know. Why you killed yourself?"  
  
"But don't you have to go home to your brother now?" Botan asked.  
  
"Go. Home?" Mayaa asked.  
  
"Botan?" Koenma asked with sticky, goopy sugary sweetness that made both Botan and Kurama cringe.  
  
"Yes. Yes sir?" Botan asked with one of her cute sweat dropping faces.  
  
"Do you wish to explain?"  
  
"Eh heh heh, explain what?"  
  
"What you just said of course." Koenma asked retaining the same tone of voice.  
  
Maya was looking back and forth from ticked off Koenma and the sweat dropping ferry girl.  
  
~§~  
  
Shiori and Hatakana sat out in the white washed hall, waiting for the doctor and nurses finish testing their son.  
  
"Can it get any worse?" Shiori voiced the thoughts that were plaguing her mind ever since she set foot in the hospital earlier that day. She sat back in the blue chair that was padded like any other regular hospital chair.  
  
"It is said that things can get worse for every one in one way or another. But at this time, my self, I am not that sure." He took his wife's hand and squeezed it gently as he smiled sadly.  
  
Shiori smiled at her husbands efforts to lighten her heart, but the smile was one of a person who regrets all the things that she could have done differently in the past, but did not because she did not know what would happen in the future.  
  
"Do try to look on the bright side, no matter how dim it is, for me okay?" Hatakana asked.  
  
"I will try." Shiori answered softly.  
  
"Good." Hatakana said equally as softly as his wife spoke.  
  
They sat in silence as the minute hand traveled lazily around the clock that was on the wall in front of them.  
  
Finally, a grandmotherly looking nurse stepped out of the room and welcomed them with a warm smile, "You may come in now, but your son is very tired."  
  
Shiori and Hatakana stood up and followed the gray haired nurse into the room, and stood next to their dozing sons bed and looked down at him.  
  
~§~  
  
'Its that voice again.' Shuuichi thought, 'It is singing to me.? What is with this voice?'  
  
~If you are lost in your way deep in an awesome story.~  
  
'Where is the voice coming from? Why is it singing?'  
  
~Don't be in doubt and stray, cling to your lonesome folly~  
  
'I remember that song now! Mother use to sing it to me when I was young, before. Before she died.'  
  
~Now you're too close to the pain, let all the rain go further~  
  
Shuuichi felt a warm, salty tear slide down his cheek as he remembered when he was very young, and his mother still alive. How she use to push him on the neighborhood swing set, teach him how to ride a bike, race him in the community pool.  
  
~Come back and kiss me in vain~ Shuuichis late mother continued to sing in his mind, calming her sons nerves with her soothing tone of voice.  
  
"Shuuichi?" A voice called on the edge of his consciousness, bringing him back to the present time. He groaned softly as he turned his head. Oh, how his neck ached!  
  
"Mother? Father?" Shuuichi asked, "My mother was singing to me."  
  
Hatakana's lips curved up into a warm smile, "She talks to me too."  
  
Hatakana took his wife's hand in his hand, and squeezed her hand reassuringly.  
  
She looked up at him, and smiled like a saddened little girl. Her heart was pained with her stepson's innocence and simple pleasures.  
  
After a few seconds of silence, Shuuichi asked his parents, "What happened? Why are some things hazy?"  
  
"We are not sure, honey." Shiori admitted sadly.  
  
"Oh." Shuuichi responded as his eyes roamed about the room.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Hatakana asked his son.  
  
"Sick, tired, dizzy."  
  
"I am sorry, but your visiting time is over," A long, raven haired, pale nurse interrupted, "We need to run more tests on him."  
  
"Oh. Okay." Shiori said softly.  
  
"What type of tests?" Hatakana asked.  
  
"Memory tests, and we need to extract more blood."  
  
Hatakana studied the raven-haired nurse, measuring her up and down as she walked over to his beloved son's bed, and took the IV tube off of the bag, and hocked it up on a syringe so she could extract blood. After a few more seconds he muttered, "Alright, I trust you." Then he and his wife walked out of the room.  
  
~§~  
  
"Would you mind telling me what made you commit suicide?" Kurama asked Maya as Botan and Koenma were arguing back and forth about all the mistakes Botan had made in the past and what she could have done differently.  
  
"Well, I guess it goes all the away back to when my mother and I moved in with her boy friend. Later on, my mother married her boyfriend who I did not know very well to begin with.  
  
After a while of living in his house, my stepfather and mother bought a house in a deep wooded area, where few rays of sunlight reached past the thick canopy of trees. It was my mothers dream home. Two stories with a basement, large windows to look out into the woods, light wooden floors, large back yard and patio. My stepfather liked it for the fact that there was not that much sunlight and it was in the woods. Since my mother was happy, therefore, my stepfather was happy.  
  
There was a pond near by where I would sit and watch fish and think. I knew something was wrong, very wrong. But I could not pinpoint it." Maya sighed and looked up at Kurama who supplied, "Because every thing was too right?"  
  
"Yes, that is it, things were so right, that every thing was wrong. After about a year living there, my stepfather started to act different. My mother claimed that she did not notice any thing that changed. But when I looked at his eyes, I could tell that he was wearing a mask all that time."  
  
"And your mother did not believe you?" Kurama asked. By now, the commotion Botan and Koenma were causing died down, and they started listening.  
  
"No, she did not believe me."  
  
"What was the worst thing your stepfather did to you?" Botan asked.  
  
Maya looked down at the floor with tears going down her cheeks. She was use to their feeling on her face, for when she was alone in her room, sitting in a corner with her knees drawn up to her chest, she wept. Maya hastily wiped the away with her right index finger, "He. He. He. raped me." (A/N: Thanks Blood Roses for helping me choose this)  
  
The whole room went quiet, and then Botan spoke up cautiously, "How long ago was this? Maybe we can some how find a way to charge him?"  
  
"Oh, about a few months ago. I think. It was when my mother was on a business trip to America."  
  
"So, that is one of the reasons you committed suicide?" Kurama asked gently.  
  
"Yes it was, I was afraid that I was pregnant with his child. My stepfather also started to do injections of some sort of drug, but my mom still did not believe me. I think it was because she did not want to believe that her husband that she loved so much was just using her. I might as well just tell the whole story?" Maya asked.  
  
"I have to leave soon, but later on? I would like to hear it." Kurama answered.  
  
"Then you can maybe tell me yours too?" Maya asked.  
  
~§§~  
  
Yes! I finally finished this chapter!!!!! Thanks for reading up this far!  
  
******I need ideas if I am to continue the story on for many chapters!!!!!!!!!!***** So, if you want to see something happen, please e-mail or AIM me. Both of those are in my AIM profile  
  
Please review! 


	11. Black Winged Dove

Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue. If I had enough money to own Yu Yu Hakusho, I would be doing a lot of research into mirror worlds/parallel universes.  
  
Chapter 11 Black Winged Dove  
  
'Maya.' Kurama thought as he paused in the middle of the sidewalk and glanced up at the sky that was covered in small patches with the ideal pure white clouds that were beckoning for you to fall asleep on one like an angle.  
  
He then started to walk again, eyes vacant because they were turned to his thoughts, 'How long has it been since I have seen her? I never expected to see her again in till she died from natural causes. I wonder what would have happened if she did not move.'  
  
~§~  
  
"Maya? You really did love him, didn't you?" Botan asked Maya as they walked through the gardens in the courtyard of the palace.  
  
". Yes. And I kind of still do. I don't know this feeling I have, it is mixed happiness, sadness and longing for him to love me back. It is as if a waving wind is going through my heart, moving things in a rhythm of a mad whirlwind. I do not care about his history, though I do not even know it. The only part of Shuuichi I know is the one I have known since grade school."  
  
'Awww, that is so sweet!' Botan thought, she always loved a good romance, "What do you think would have happened to you two if you did not move?"  
  
"Honestly, I do not know," Maya's expression turned gloomy, "He could barely beat the girls off of him with a stick, nor a golf club," Maya laughed softly, "I do not know if he thinks me more then a old friend, he never really expresses himself that much."  
  
"He is very good at hiding his feelings isn't he?" Botan asked.  
  
"Yes, annoyingly so. What is his real name?" Maya asked suddenly.  
  
'What to do!? What to do!?' Botan panicked as she stopped in her tracks.  
  
"Yes! I knew it! Come on! You can tell me!" Maya pleaded.  
  
Botan looked around hoping for to distract her, and thus take her away from Maya, "Uhh, I don't know." Botan sweat dropped.  
  
"Come on, I will tell him I figured it out for my self."  
  
"Koenma-sama has gotten mad at me before, for telling some people what I should not have." Botan recalled, remembering the time she told Keiko and Shizuka that Yusuke and Kuwabara were going to take part in the Dark Tournament.  
  
"Okay, I understand." Maya stated from where she was kneeling on the ground, looking at the just blooming Easter Lilies, "They look like little hats. I never noticed that before."  
  
"You are right, they do! Oh, and also like those old telephone ear pieces!"  
  
~§~  
  
"Hello, Shuuichi." Hatakana said tiredly when he saw Kurama enter the room from the corner of his eye.  
  
"Hi, Father. How is he fairing?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Not well, they might have to move him to another facility."  
  
Kurama did not answer, but he looked down at the floor. He did not do this often, because your feet cannot talk back at you, but he did not know what to say nor do.  
  
Kurama looked back up at his stepfather. He noticed the very prominent black circled under his eyes, and his fathers' wrinkles more pronounced. Kurama would have said something, but he did not as he saw his stepfather slouch tiredly, but a look of determination to stay awake so he could be there for his son when he needed him.  
  
Kurama smiled sadly at his father, humans could be loyal if they wished, always there for one another, to lend a hand, or to shed a tear.  
  
~§~  
  
On top of a marble counter, lied a note with hurriedly written kanji. Died, red blood stained pure white paper in speckles that came from the butcher knife that was laid next to it, with dried blood forbidding light to bounce off the use to be sterling silver knife.  
  
'Please give my journal to Shuuichi Minamino, that is all I ask of you' was written on the paper.  
  
A woman's tears could be heard in the distance, crying for not what has been done, but what could have been. She could see her daughter's sparking, loving, and happy eyes, slowly succumb to fear and depression. Why had she been so blind, she could have prevented this.  
  
But, it has already made the impression on the sands of history.  
  
The books were already written.  
  
There was no time eraser.  
  
Oh, how she hated, loathed her self, she could make out the police's voices, telling her it was time to leave. She could hear her self she would be a moment longer, she wished to go to her daughter's room. She did not remain long enough for the police to give her their approval; after all, this was her house. She did not acknowledge it as a home, because her daughter, her pride and joy, flew above her with angels wings.  
  
She slowly mounted the stairs, not fully trusting her legs to support her as she slowly made her way to her daughters' room.  
  
She reached out to grasp the doorknob, but her hand backed away. She remained there for a few seconds longer, and then turned the knob, and walked in the room. Her mind remained at the task at hand, finding her daughters journal. After glancing hurriedly around the room, it was nowhere in sight.  
  
Oh, how much mental pain she was in, all the memories! Couldn't the memories just wait?! She was trying to concentrate at the task at hand, but every object of Maya's held some sort of past that clung to it.  
  
"Do not turn around, Madam, I am not afraid to fire."  
  
~§~  
  
'I, I did not want to pass away from life like this, unhappy. Must my dove come with black tipped wings?' Shuuichi thought as looked at his family, who loved him with out any strings attached. Oh, it was so easy for him to love his family, but to see them experiencing shocks of pain every time they set their eyes on him.  
  
He could feel himself drifting, and he knew that his stepbrother could also feel the shadows starting to gather around his soul, drawing his soul piece by piece painfully from his body.  
  
His memory was slowly returning, and things were starting to fit back into the picture like pieces of a 3,000-piece puzzle that had been knocked off of a table where it was being assembled.  
  
And a voice kept on singing sweet lullabies in his mind. He would not allow himself to drift away on a raft on the river of dreams, fearing that he would not wake; he wanted to solve a puzzle first.  
  
~§~  
  
Hatakana wished to remain in the hospital instead of returning home with Shiori and Kurama, no matter how many times the doctors and nurses tried to per sway him, due to all their sleep deprived markings that were under his eyes.  
  
The atmosphere was denser then Kurama remembered. It wanted to crush the soul with nails that could make stone bleed, and the desert sands cry.  
  
Shiori was uneasy as she stepped inside her own home, as if she was treading on forbidden territory, "Shuuichi, I am going to bed. You should also, since you have school tomorrow." She turned around and gave her son a reassuring hug, which added a little more light to their faces, and then walked upstairs.  
  
Kurama watched his mom mount the stairs, and then shut the door. He then walked over to the couch, sat down and then put his face in his hands, rubbing his temples to relieve the pressure on his eyes.  
  
He could feel the morose darkness of death dance its number around his brother, drawing on his soul quicker as the sand in his brothers life clock fall faster to the mound forming at the bottom.  
  
Kurama then leaned back and stared at the ceiling. He had killed many, many demons in his lifetime. His hands were stained from blood that he could never seem to wash off completely in any body of water. But Kurama had gotten use to the feeling of another person's blood staining his hands very long ago. But in this lifetime, a death of some one who he cared for. was different.  
  
Kurama chuckled to himself, he had gone soft. This life was a double bladed sword. You experience happiness and joy with people you care about, but they end up dieing or leaving you behind, and then you experience pain.  
  
~§~  
  
"Something happened to my mom." Maya said in the silence that descended over the two girls.  
  
"What did you say?" Botan asked turning around to face Maya.  
  
"I think something happened to my mother, I can tell."  
  
~§~  
  
After about thirty minutes of thinking, Kurama stood up and walked to his mother and father's room, to see if his mother was sleeping yet.  
  
He walked softly into his mothers' room, to hear her crying in her sleep. Kurama's face turned sympathetic at the thought of what his mothers' dreams could be like. He left his mothers room as quickly as he entered.  
  
Kurama quickly exited outside, and decided to take a short walk before heading off to Reikai.  
  
~§~  
  
"Can you retrieve my journal for me, please? I do not think my mother did."  
  
"Why do you think that?"  
  
Maya's eyes turned cold, "I just have a feeling, and I think it was because."  
  
~§~  
  
A black Labrador puppy wandered the streets; this ribs rippling under the thin layer of skin with each small step.  
  
I whined softly at every person who acknowledged his presence, but they moved on. The puppies' stomach growled at the lacking of food, as the puppy whimpered louder and it started to sniff the ground for any possible substance.  
  
It then came upon a tipped over trashcan, most likely from the wind. Inside was a brown paper fast food bag. The puppy leaned in and dragged it out with his mouth, and then tore it open.  
  
The puppy's eyes lit up for the first time since its owner threw him out on the streets. Inside was a half eaten hamburger and French fires (A/N: Or, should I say, American Fries?). It then began to eat with ravishing bites, eyes darting around, making sure no one was getting close to its meal. But, there was none.  
  
A shadow then cast itself over the puppies thin body. It looked up fearfully and cringed, afraid of getting hurt, all of its hunger delayed out of its mind.  
  
It did not get a chance to look at the persons face as gentle, loving hands scooped it up carefully off of the ground. He heard, "Do not be afraid, I will take you some place dry and give you something to eat. Then, we will see where it goes from there." The voice was full of love; something the puppy was unaccustomed too. It tilted its head up and got a look at the person's face. The puppy had not seen such green, kind, gentle eyes that seemed like just the front cover that did not even scratch the soul.  
  
The young man's left hand scratched behind the puppy's ear as a piece of his red hair came down in front of the puppies nose, causing it to sneeze.  
  
"We are first going to take a short trip, and then we are going to go back to my home, okay little guy?"  
  
The puppy could decipher that the young man hopped he could keep the puppy, that is why he was going to take him home with him.  
  
The puppies' eyes shone completely from happiness for the first time in it's 8-month-old life.  
  
~§~  
  
I am finally done! Yes!  
  
I am going to end this soon, I see no other way on how to continue it to the last chapter. There will probably be about, ohhh, say. 3-5 more chapters.  
  
And I am also sorry for the delay; my life has taken a 90-degree plunge into hell lately. 


	12. Life is But a Puppet Show

Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho so you no sue! *But* I had a really freaky dream last night. Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei were in it. They were in *my* dream, doesn't that mean they are somewhat of my property?  
  
Some one asked why I am introducing new characters so late into the story? If you mean as in Maya and that dog (they will most likely stay) that is just how I write, and I wanted to get the feeling of this story down, so I would not have to put what the other characters were doing all this time while this, this, and this were happening. You can even go as far in saying that I am downright lazy ^_^().  
  
Chapter 12 Life is But A Puppet Show  
  
Shuuichi was lured off into sleep against his own will, because of that honey rich voice that kept on singing in his head.  
  
This time, the song was different, but Shuuichi was not awake enough to remember the words that were being sung. Some times, when he tried to remember what the words were, and he made a strong effort. He could not remember. It was as if he set his eyes upon something holy, and pure as infancy, and then he forgot it, due to safety reasons, what ever they were.  
  
He could feel his parent's presence on the other side of the room. His heart had a dull ache in the middle, which grew with every beat, because Shuuichi could feel their pain. He did not want them to feel sad for him for he would finally be free, released from all bounds from the earth, and could soar in his dreams.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama had the kitchen tapon, filling it up with warm water as he looked in the refrigerator for something to feed the dog he had found, "Hmm, the only things we have for you, is slices of lunch meat and cheese, but you do not care do you?" Kurama asked the dog who was practically sitting on his foot as he looked through the refrigerator, "You first eat, and then a bath." Kurama said as he took a plate and bowl out of the cabinet that was beside the refrigerator.  
  
As Kurama was making the puppy a meal, the puppy watched him with curious eyes that shone with delight and caution. It started to wonder if he would be like his pervious owner, or the kids that thrown rocks at him when he was dumped on the streets.  
  
Then it stopped wondering, and started to trust the red haired semi- stranger, and its tail started to wag happily at the smell of cheese. It walked up beside Kurama and gave him the thing that puppies give the best, 'the puppy dog look'.  
  
Kurama could feel the puppy's eyes on him as he was slicing the cheese and meat, so he turned around and chuckled as he sliced the block of cheddar cheese and then placed it on the plate.  
  
The puppy tilted its head innocently up at Kurama, melting his heart. He gently laid the white, glass plate in front of the puppy and watched it eat with large bites, not bothering to pause so the food could move down his throat quicker.  
  
Kurama wanted to reach out to rub the puppies' head, but he knew that it could bite him, because the poor thing was most likely ravished.  
  
After the dog was done eating, it looked up at Kurama for more. Kurama shook his head 'no', "I don't want to shock your stomach, and you will have more later. Now, it is time for you to get clean."  
  
~§~  
  
After Kurama had the sink almost filled up to the rim with warm sudsy water. Behind his back, the puppy started to slowly back away, and then when it thought it was out side of Kurama's hearing range, it ran as fast as it's big feet would let him.  
  
Kurama turned around with his hands and sleeves wet as soon as the puppy took off. He then started to chase after it.  
  
The puppy, not knowing the layout of the house, climbed clumsily up the stairs. He then looked fearfully back down them to see Kurama closing in.  
  
~§~  
  
"Shuuichi?" Maya's voice shook the red head out of his own universe inside of his head when he walked into Koenma's office, "Where have you been? You had all of us worried... Ohh! What a cute puppy!" Maya said, her attention immediately diverted from her scolding.  
  
"I am sorry, but I found this dog along side of the road, so I took it home, fed it and gave it a bath." He said in a tired voice and rubbed the puppy's head gently, and then placed it on the floor.  
  
Every one in the room, including Koenma, looked down at the floor at the now hyper-full-of-energy-ball-of-black-fur bounded around the room, its ears flapping behind it's head as its large puppy-like paws as it accidentally slipped and skidded to a halt right before Maya.  
  
Maya cooed as she took slow steps forward and scooped it up in her arms, and then looked at Kurama with large eyes, "Where, where did you find him?" Maya asked as she rubbed the puppy's stomach, trying to ignore the fact that she could plainly make out it's rib cage.  
  
"Out on the streets. I believe it's owner abandoned it a few weeks after it was born. I was wondering if I could let it stay here-"  
  
"Of course you can!" Botan bounded into the conversation energetically, "Did you give it a name yet?"  
  
"No, I have not." 'Nor have I had any decent sleep.' He thought.  
  
"What about. Sekisetsu? I have always like that." Botan voiced her thoughts.  
  
"Well, it is all black Botan." Maya commented.  
  
The two girls sprung possible names back and forth for a couple of minutes. Kurama walked over to the toddlers' desk, "May I ask you a question?"  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Would you happen to know the date my stepbrother will die?"  
  
"I am sorry, but I cannot tell you that."  
  
"I understand..." Kurama sighed quietly.  
  
"Hey, Kurama, you look tired, why don't you go home? You can come back here on a weekend."  
  
Kurama heard Maya's voice, and a thought occurred to him, "Why are you keeping Maya here this long?" Kurama asked.  
  
"To tell you the truth, I feel like I owe you a favor or two. And I have also heard that you two were good friends a while back."  
  
"Koenma-sama," George started, "Isn't that puppy the cutest thing you have ever seen?"  
  
"Well. Uh." Koenma started, watching the puppy try to worm it's way out of Maya's arms until she finally let it down.  
  
"I will be leaving now. Thank you for keeping the puppy here." Kurama smiled tiredly, and then left.  
  
~§~  
  
"Father?" Shuuichi asked weakly.  
  
Hatakana's head flew up and he walked quickly to his son's bedside, "Yes, Shuuichi?"  
  
"Do I have to make a will?"  
  
Hatakana's eyes grew wide in shock, and his heart was amidst in chaos, for he did not know what to say but, "lets not think about this for a while, okay?"  
  
"But, father, do I? Do you really think I am going to get better?" Shuuichi asked as if he was discussing the weather.  
  
Hatakana stood there, eyes blank as if his son's life was flashing before his eyes.  
  
~§~  
  
"New evidence of the man who shot." A female news reporter started as Shiori turned off the TV that was evidently left on all night and put the remote back down on the table. Her eyes then turned to the couch, where there was. Black hair? She blinked and tiredly rubbed her eyes, since she had just woken up a few moments ago.  
  
Shiori's eyes then focused in on the wall clock that read 7:00. She stretched, walked over to the stairs, and walked up them to wake up her sleeping son.  
  
~§~  
  
. Who finally got to bed around 1:30a.m. Kurama was currently sleeping on his side, hugging his pillow with his red hair disarray.  
  
Shiori stood in the door way to his room, watching her son sleep peacefully. It would almost be a crime to wake him up out of his dream. But he had to go to school.  
  
~§~  
  
"Shuuichi?" A female voice called on the edge of his consciousness, "Wake up, time to go to school." His eyes closed as tight as they could, still half in his dreams and half woken up. Kurama turned over in his bed to face the wall, bringing his blankets tightly around him.  
  
Shiori laughed, "Come on, time to wake up."  
  
Kurama's eyes opened, but closed again due to the light, "I'm up." Kurama said tiredly as he sat up in his bed.  
  
"What time did you get to sleep last night?" Shiori asked.  
  
"After one I believe. I could not fall asleep." Kurama stated, which was true in one light, and a lie in another light.  
  
"Don't worry, what happens is what happens, we have no control. Nature is always one step ahead." Shiori stated dismally, "School will be starting soon, you better get going." Shiori said, and then started to leave the room, but she remembered something, "Oh, and that reminds me, I will most likely not be here when you come home. I will be at your brothers' school. I think the chances of him returning back to school is slim. Please, do not tell him this, I believe it will disappoint him." Shiori asked. "Sure, but I believe he knew that you were going to do this some time or another."  
  
Shiori nodded her head, and left Kurama's room to go make breakfast.  
  
"I wonder when this chapter of my life will come to a close." Kurama voice his thoughts quietly to himself, 'I know a name for the puppy, Jiro.' Kurama thought.  
  
~§~  
  
"So, Maya, have you decided on what you are going to do? Do you wish to become a ferry girl?" Botan asked Maya as they sat out in the courtyard.  
  
"Huh? Oh, no, I do not think I am suited for that job." Maya answered, "I would rather help people who have lives that were like mine. Wait. You mean that I am not going to hell?"  
  
"That is an option for you. But I do believe that you are not Christian," Maya nodded, "Then why go some place that you do not believe in? Your other options that I believe you would be interested in are being a ferry girl, guardian angel, or a death leader."  
  
"Death leader? I never head of that." Maya said.  
  
"Oh, a death leader is as old as time itself. They help people through death, especially if it is painful. You can say they are the light at the end of the tunnel for the spirit. They also try to discourage killings and suicides. Some times they sing in people's minds to calm them."  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama had often pulled days with out many hours of sleep, but it seems as if every single thing was catching up with him. He passed by soda machines in the main hall of his school, and decided that a caffeine boost was what he needed. Kurama dug some coins out from his pocket, inserted them into the machine, and chose the drink that held the most sugar.  
  
Kurama retrieved the drink, opened it, and his face scrunched up with it's potent sugary, syrupy richness, a shock then went through his body, 'no wonder why mother never let me drink this when I was younger.' Kurama thought, imagining his mothers face when she saw his dental bill, 'I wonder how Jiro is doing.' An image of the black puppy with a pink bow on it's tail and ears suddenly entered his mind, and then another one of it running around Koenma's office, causing all of the stacks of papers to fall. He cringed at the thought as he threw the half full soda in a trashcan and started off for his class.  
  
~§~  
  
'Life is but a puppet show,' Shiori read as she was trying to get her mind off of her son, 'to attract vengeful gods and goddesses from the universe. We only but have strings attached to our arms and legs.'  
  
"The man who tried to kill his wife was caught today," The blond haired news reporter started, "In his home in the city. He will be charged for." Shiori turned off the TV, 'Too many depressing things going on.' She thought, 'I guess I will go have a word with the head doctor, and then I will go to Shuuichi's school to draw him out, that is, if the doctor thinks he can make a full recovery.'  
  
~§~  
  
"Hey, Botan, can you get Hiei for me, please? I have a favor of him to ask."  
  
"Of course Koenma-sama." Botan horridly said and dashed out of the door, closing it quickly before the puppy cold escape.  
  
~§~  
  
A wile later, somewhere in Makai, Hiei was sitting on a low branch of a tree, "Your owner owes me big time." He said to Jiro who was on a long leash that was wrapped around the base of the tree.  
  
The black puppy just sat there, looking up at Hiei with big eyes, as if it was concentrating on melting his heart and winning him over.  
  
"Will you stop looking at me like that!?" Hiei asked exasperatedly.  
  
~§~  
  
'It was all. Just a dream.' Hatakana reassured himself. He had fallen asleep against the wall of his son's room. Hatakana rubbed his face tiredly with his hands, "it was just all a bad dream. He is not dead yet. No, he is not. Not dead yet." He said out load.  
  
He fought against the images that kept on popping unbidden into his mind, cold rain dropping from an icy gray sky. A women's crying, sadness, everywhere. A new gravestone added to the cemetery. He was slipping ever so slowly and painfully into depression.  
  
His wife fell onto her knees in front of the grave stone, not caring that her black dress was getting muddy. Her tears slid off of her face and dropped onto the ground.  
  
"Is this what you call balance?" Hatakana remembered yelling at the sky, with rain slipping down his face, mixing with his tears, "Must you do this. To me?! TO US!?" He yelled angrily.  
  
But his step son, was acting so. Different, what was it about him that made him question she red haired stepson's existence?  
  
But it was all but a dream.  
  
But it seemed so real.  
  
'Is this what will become reality?' Hatakana thought as he stared at his son's bed.  
  
~§~  
  
Yes! I am finally done with this chapter!!!!! *Balloons fall*  
  
I am so sorry for the delay, my life seems to hate me at the moment, and I only have umm. 2-3 more weeks of school, so the workload seems to have taken a major dosage of steroids.  
  
And also, if you are wondering how some things are fitting in, don't worry, they will all fit tougher later.  
  
I must admit, I know I could have done better, but I had to get this out today. 


	13. Bitter Honey

Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, you no sue!  
  
I just realized. Jiro WAS the name of the dog in YYH manga. Thanks Yamikitsune, that never clicked! I got the name from one of the characters in Legacy of the Shadow Dancer, where I am a co-authoress.  
  
Chapter 13 Bitter Honey  
  
"Class, class, please, settle down." The teacher at the front of the room called out over the bustle that was taking place in his room, "Please take your seats, thank you. As you well know, this weekend is Mother's day. So, since today is Friday, why don't we just take a side step, and each of you write down a short sentence or two about your mom, fold it up and place it in this hat." The teacher took out a large black hat out from underneath his desk, "And then I would pick two at random, and those mothers who are on here will receive a weekend at Japan's most famous bath house."  
  
Kurama covered his mouth as he tried to stifle a small yawn. The teacher placed a piece of playing white paper on his desk when he was passing by and glanced at Kurama, "Shuuichi, did you not sleep well last night?"  
  
"I am afraid so."  
  
~§~  
  
"How is he doing?" Shiori asked Hatakana as she stepped into her son's hospital room, took off her coat and placed it on the back of a blue plastic chair.  
  
Hatakana looked at her as if he had rain clouds casting a shadow over his face, "He asked me if he is to make a will. I believe that sums it up."  
  
Shiori stood there, staring past her sons hospital bed, into another world, a world that was not falling apart before her, but as if it was a pocket in time, not moving forward, not moving backwards. Just, there, not moving.  
  
"Shiori! Please sit down," Hatakana instructed as he caught her in his arms after she started to sway. He helped her walk over to a chair, and then she slowly sat down, eyes that looked as if they were looking into another realm.  
  
Hatakana stood up, and looked down at his wife concerned. He had never seen her like this, and he never expected to either, "Shiori? Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes. I am fine." Shiori answered, rubbing her eyes, "Just an unwanted memory, that is all. Why don't you go home and get some rest?" Shiori asked her husband who looked like he was trampled by rush hour traffic.  
  
"Are you sure you want to be left alone?" Hatakana asked.  
  
Shiori smiled at him as best as the thoughts that were occurring in her head would allow, "I will be fine. Shuuichi will most likely stop by here after school. Go home and get some rest, dear."  
  
~§~  
  
"Mother?" Shuuichi asked an hour later after his father left.  
  
Shiori stood up from the plastic chair she was sitting in and went over to her stepsons' bed, "Yes? What is it?"  
  
"Does Shuuichi ever seem to be different at times to you?"  
  
"I am sorry, but I do not understand what you are saying." Shiori confessed.  
  
Shuuichi thought for a few seconds and rephrased his question, "Does he ever seem to change some times? Like his personality?"  
  
Shiori looked down at her son, and considered what he asked, "I believe all teenagers do at his age, but yes, I have noticed. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I was just wondering." Shuuichi answered and closed his eyes as if talking took all the energy out of him.  
  
Shiori glanced at the heart rate meter beside her stepson's bed to see that his heart was beating a little bit slower then usual. She then looked back down at her stepson, letting her mind glaze over what it would be like to live with out him for the rest of her life. But then Shiori pulled her train of thought over to the recent news she has been hearing shards of here and there, about the women who was shot in the shoulder. She did not want to imagine what it would be like with out Shuuichi, it was far too painful.  
  
Shiori remembered glancing at the TV when the news station was talking about the attempted murder. The women looked so familiar, but older. She started to wonder where she had seen that face before.  
  
Shiori then left her son's bedside and went back into the same blue plastic chair. She staring off, trying to figure out who the women was, until a gray haired nurse walked in that looked like she has been left out in all types of weather, "Do you have some time?" She asked softly.  
  
Shiori looked up and nodded her head for she could not trust her voice.  
  
"I have these pamphlets, I hope they do not upset you any further, but to put it bluntly, the doctors see no road to recovery for your son." The nurse handed Shiori the pamphlets, and once Shiori looked at the front of them, her eyes widened in horror.  
  
The nurse looked down at Shiori and said in a gentle voice, "If you need any one to talk too, you can find me in the children's wing." And then left Shiori alone.  
  
The pamphlets dropped out of Shioris hand's as if they were scolding hot, and landed onto the floor by her feet. She looked at them as if they were a great evil, and that she wanted nothing to do with them. But, the pamphlets told her that they held information that would be useful to her. The silent argument went on for a few minutes, in till Shiori finally picked up a tan pamphlet.  
  
~§~  
  
"Just a reminder, your reports are due at the end of next week!" The teacher shouted over the noise of students leaving, "And to the students whose mothers won, please inform them as soon as you can!"  
  
Kurama gathered up his books in his arms, said good by to the teacher, and left the classroom with students running past him down the hall to the double doors that had held freedom behind them.  
  
Once outside, Kurama looked up to the sky, which was growing overcast with angry clouds. He could smell moisture in the air, 'About a half hour' he thought, estimating the time it would take to rain. Kurama then started to walk in the direction of home, listening to his surroundings. Some one was playing Raven by Do As Infinity rather loudly; there were groups of people talking and laughing nearby, and the natural hustle on the streets.  
  
"You look rather down." A black haired classmate of Kurama's said when she caught up with him, "Is something bothering you?"  
  
Kurama glanced at the girl who was walking beside him, and smiled, "I am doing alright, thank you for asking."  
  
"I have heard rumors that your stepbrother is severely ill, is that true?"  
  
Kurama blinked, what less did he expect? "I am afraid that is true. May I ask how long this has been going around the school?"  
  
"For a while now, one of my friends told me."  
  
"Oh. Congratulations for your mother winning the drawing."  
  
The girl smiled, "Thanks. Well, I wish both you and your family well." The black haired girl then put on a pair of headphones and walked across the street.  
  
Kurama started to think about his mother, and how much she had done for him over the years, after all, she was the one who showed him true, unconditional love, 'I wonder what she would want for Mothers Day.' He thought as he turned a corner into his neighborhood, 'A weekend away would do her good, if she could get her mind off of recent events.'  
  
~§~  
  
Just as Kurama got home, his stepfather was stepping out of the door with a worried look on his face. Kurama quickened his pace as his father was locking the door, "What is wrong?" Kurama called out.  
  
"You mother wishes both of us at the hospital." Hatakana answered, unlocking the door so Kurama could put his books inside.  
  
Kurama glanced back up again at the sky and then hurried inside the door, placed his books on the floor, and walked back out, "Do you know how he is doing?" Kurama asked.  
  
"No, I do not. You mother just called and told me to come to the hospital as soon as possible, and to bring you along if I saw you walking home."  
  
"How did she sound?"  
  
Hatakana was silent as he locked the door, and then when he and Kurama started to walk out onto the sidewalk, he answered, "Heart broken."  
  
~§~  
  
Shuuichi felt the presence of his father and stepbrother enter the room, but he did not open his eyes, nor acknowledge them in any way.  
  
"A nurse handed me these, I think you two should look at them as well." Shiori said as confidently as she could manage as she held up a packet of brochures up to her family, 'I must be stable, for both of them.' Shiori thought.  
  
Kurama's eyes narrowed slightly as he took on from his mother hand and quickly scanned it, wondering cynically if the hospital was also a marketing place.  
  
"So, I am guessing that we will not be transferring him to any other hospitals?" Hatakana asked softly.  
  
"That is what I perceive. The nurse said, 'but the doctors see no road to recovery for your son.'" Shiori sighed and put her hands in her lap.  
  
"How much pain do you think he is in?" Hatakana asked while he was reading a black, blue, and maroon pamphlet on how family's can deal with a death.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Kurama looked over his shoulder to where Shuuichi was lying, and then pretended to read the brochure that explained the process a person goes through when they are nearing too death.  
  
It was then silent in the room, an uneasy silence between Shiori and Hatakana, just like when some one gets paired up with a total stranger while in Junior High. Hatakana rocked on his feet every now and then, Shiori was tapping her foot, but Kurama was unaffected.  
  
A few moments later, Shiori stood up, "Are either of you hungry?" She asked, I am going downstairs to get my self something to drink.  
  
"I am fine, thanks." Kurama answered.  
  
"I will go with you, I need to walk a little." Hatakana said.  
  
~§~  
  
Drip, drip, drip, the rain started to slowly drop as Kurama watched a nurse switch his stepbrothers IV bag. A few seconds later, he saw Shuuichi's face scrunch up, as if liquid fire was prowling through his veins. Kurama watched the nurse leave, and then stood up and walked over to a window that was by his stepbrothers' bed.  
  
Shuuichi opened his eyes and watched Kurama look out the window. He was not sure his stepbrother could feel him watching, but as far as he could tell, he paid no heed.  
  
The rain was starting to come down faster, as if it was wanting to cleanse the earth of the many vile things that lived upon it's surface. But at every time it tired, it never succeeded; because man kept on developing newer things that caused its surroundings to slowly diminish.  
  
"Please, just kill me." Shuuichi asked out load, his voice full of the pain his body was being put through, "They all know I am going to die anyways, so I do not see the point of trying to make me live longer."  
  
'Then why don't you just kill him yourself?' Yomi's voice floated through his head.  
  
Kurama felt like he was floating in a dark cold void, where there was no up, and no down, nor a right, or a left. Just standing there, trapped.  
  
Then the void shattered and pieces of glass fell all around him. He shielded himself, but not apiece came close to him, like he was protected, yet harmed.  
  
~~§§~~  
  
I am no longer going to guarantee when I will get next chapters out. I am sorry for the delay for this one, it is just that school is getting out May 22 for me, and finals are on Wednesday and Thursday.  
  
But the largest delay for this chapter was because I written it all by hand because of a sudden spurt of inspiration on a three hour car drive, and I have horrible handwriting when in motion or sitting still.  
  
I am thinking of doing some humor *people gasp* in the next chapter because I need to get my brain out of the dark side of the moon. But maybe I wont, who knows? I just might murder some one, in this story, not in real life. 


	14. Blue

Disclaimer: Try to sue me and I will give you a dog-drooled sock that my dog just stole from me. I also do not own 'Gotta Knock A Little Harder' from Cowboy Bebop.  
  
Note: This chapter's feeling might be different due to my discovery to a MP3 that I cannot have enough of, 'Call Me Call Me' from Cowboy Bebop.  
  
Chapter 14 Blues  
  
"Shuuichi?" Shuuichi's voice called weakly on the edge of Kurama's consciousness.  
  
'Why don't you just kill him yourself?'  
  
'Please.'  
  
'Why don't you just kill him yourself?'  
  
'Please, just kill.'  
  
"Shuuichi?"  
  
'Please, just kill me.'  
  
'Why don't you just kill him yourself?'  
  
"Shuuichi!" Shuuichis voice gained strength and pulled Kurama the state he was in  
  
"Just. Disoriented. I am sorry, but I have to leave now." Kurama turned around silently and left the room with Shuuichi's tired eyes looking after his stepbrother.  
  
~§~  
  
As Kurama was walking home, a bookstore that had a coffee shop inside. Kurama was quite hungry, since he did not want to eat any hospital food, so he opened the door that had a bell attached, and walked inside.  
  
Inside, it was light enough to sit down with a book by the fireplace that was on the far end of the wall. The walls were painted a dark brown that had deep red trimming, and bookcases that matched, but where a bit darker. Kurama looked around for a second, and then walked over to the café corner of the bookstore and ordered a slice of strawberry cheesecake. He paid the blond haired casher that had her hair up into two low pigtails at the back of her head, and took a seat at one of the small iron tables near a window.  
  
The casher watched Kurama for a few moments, and resumed working behind the counter.  
  
After Kurama finished his cheesecake, he got up and looked around the bookstore for a book his mother had her eye on for a couple of weeks, but never had the time to buy it. He located it easily, 'Moon Stones' by Emiko Ikoma. It was a rather moderate sized book, and on the front cover it had a black haired women dressed in a green dress, and holding a jeweled dagger protectively while standing in the background of a forest.  
  
Kurama's eyebrow raised, because it looked like a horror book, and he knew his mother usually read romance books. He hoped he overheard his mother correctly while on the phone to one of her friends as he walked up to the cash register to pay for the book, and then on impulse, also bought the newspaper.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama was sitting on the tick tree branch of the giant tree that was outside of his room window. His feet were dangling, and he was moving them slowly back and forth as his eyes looked at nothing in particular.  
  
"What are you planning to do?" Hiei asked from a few branches above Kurama.  
  
"That is what I am thinking about."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"He is in so much pain, and I can do something about that. But if he dies right now, that will cause emotional pain to every one around me, including my self. He is going to die any way."  
  
"Just don't do any thing stupid. I do not think I will enjoy hearing that Yusuke was forced to kill you."  
  
Kurama smiled cleverly, "Well, what would *you* do?"  
  
Hiei was silent for a few moments and then answered, "I am not you, nor am I in your situation."  
  
"But what would you do if you were me?" Kurama's smile was a little broader now, knowing that he was making his friend think.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I need to get back inside, Shiori will be checking in on me soon." Kurama stood up and started to walk to his open window, but then turned around, "Thanks, for listening," then turned back around and continued to his window, and then stepped inside his room and closed it.  
  
Hiei remained in the tree for a few seconds longer, and then vanished in a black blur.  
  
~§~  
  
"Do you think there is any chance of Shuuichi will be coming back up here any time soon?" Maya asked Botan as they were walking down a hallway that lead to a porch that was over Koenma's office, "Because he never told me his story, nor have I told him mine."  
  
"I am sorry, but I do not think so. But he is not one to break a promise."  
  
Maya sighed sadly and looked down at her feet as she started to think.  
  
"Are you alright?" Botan asked.  
  
"Yes, I am fine. Would you, or any one else, have some paper and a pen or something to write with?" Maya asked.  
  
"Oh! I see! You are going to write it! Very clever! Yes, of course we do, why don't we just take a detour and pick you up some?"  
  
"If you really don't mind." Maya answered.  
  
"Of course not!" Botan said happily.  
  
Both girls continued down the hall in till they stopped because they heard something's running their way. Botan and Maya turned around to see Jiro running towards them, with a bunch of onis falling after him, looking VERY angry.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama sat in his bed, leaning against the wall with his knees drawn up to his chest and his chin resting on them. Sunlight that was filtering through his drawn-closed curtains that were gently billowing in the wind that came from the window, casting some light upon his hair, but did not reach to his deeply troubled eyes, since his hair was shadowing them.  
  
Shiori knocked on Kurama's closed door lightly, then opened it and stepped in, "I have not been hearing any thing up here lately, is every thing alright?" She asked lightly.  
  
"I am fine, mother, just thinking." 'If a youkai kills a human it's a death penalty.' A voice floated through his mind.  
  
"Are you sure? You have been drawn up in you mind a lot lately." Shiori pointed out, "Do you want to talk?"  
  
Kurama forged a weak smile up to his mother, "No thanks, not right now."  
  
Shiori did not look satisfied, "Alright, then. If you need any thing, I am always here." She smiled and left Kurama's room, leaving the door open.  
  
After Kurama was sure she was a few feet down the hall, he got up and closed his door, and sat in the middle of his room, eyes staring off into his own world as a few wisps of his hair were caught in the calm breeze.  
  
~§~  
  
Hiei's head looked in the direction of Kurama's home. He was up high in an elm tree, "Hn." He snorted and then vanished from the spot he was sitting at.  
  
~§~  
  
The child-like gentle breeze was cheerfully playing with long silver strands of hair, like it was a new toy. The breeze flittingly brought some of his hair in front of his gold eyes, and a slender hand brought them out of his eyesight. He continued to sit in the middle of the room, showing no emotion but the coldness in his eyes, even as he felt another energy come towards him.  
  
"Youko?! What the HELL are you doing?! It is broad daylight!" Hiei hissed from the windowsill.  
  
The kitsune's eyes looked up at Hiei who was scowling down at him, "I felt like it."  
  
"Hn."  
  
Youko Kurama did not reply, and after a few moments of silence, Hiei started to leave, but then he noticed Youko Kurama transforming slowly back into Shuuichi Minamino. Hiei watched as sympathetically as he could muster as tears started to slip down Kurama's cheek from his eyes that were turning greener and larger.  
  
"I don't know what to do," Kurama confessed after he was back into his human form, "He asked me to kill him, but the consequences of doing that are great."  
  
"Do you really care what happens to you afterwards?"  
  
".Not really. But it will baffle the hospital staff, and it will cause long- term grief to my family, because doctors and scientists will keep updating them to what they think happened. I know a way to kill him with out leaving a trace, but."  
  
Hiei sighed; this was certainly not his area of expertise.  
  
~§~  
  
"What did you DO Jiro!?" Maya asked after they were well away from the crowd of mad oni's.  
  
Jiro looked up at the two girls, panting, but happy.  
  
"Why did I expect an answer.?" Maya asked out loud.  
  
"What ever he did, they will be mumbling about it for a long time, so you should keep an eye on this little guy." Botan commented.  
  
"Too bad we can't get him out of here for a length of time, I think it would do him good, any ways."  
  
"Hmm, I believe it is the weekend. Maybe we can leave him at Kurama's?" Botan suggested.  
  
"At whose?" Maya asked, dumbfounded.  
  
Botan sweat dropped, "Never mind! Bad idea!" She said horridly and waving her hands back and forth rapidly.  
  
Maya blinked and gasped, "I remember now! I heard Shuuichi called that once in school! That is his real name, isn't it?!"  
  
'Why must all these things happen to me!?' Botan thought.  
  
"I take it by your facial expression that it is. Don't worry, I won't tell him that you helped me remember that. I wonder what made me forget in the first place.?"  
  
~§~  
  
Later on that night, Kurama felt something walking at the foot of his bed, but he paid it no heed so he just turned over in his bed, making the covers on top of him tighter.  
  
". It would be a crime to wake him up." A female voice said.  
  
Kurama's eyes closed tighter, trying to block out the noise.  
  
". Yea, I know." Another female voice stated as the thing that was walking on his bed came closer.  
  
He then turned on his stomach, head facing the wall. After he did this, the thing that was walking on his bed jumped over his back, walked up to his face, sniffed, and then licked Kurama's nose, causing him to fully wake up with a jolt, "Jiro!?"  
  
Maya had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling at the scene.  
  
Kurama turned around, sat up, and looked at the nervous ferry girl, and then Maya, "Yes?" He asked sleepily.  
  
"Uhhh. We were wondering." Botan answered, carefully thinking over her words before she spoke them, "Can we leave Jiro with you for a while? He.Uh. Caused some trouble. I know it is quite inconvenient for you at the time."  
  
Kurama looked down at the puppy that, in return, looked back at him with wide, luminous eyes. He then chuckled, "Sure, why not. Mother always wanted a dog any way, and I think he would cheer her up." Kurama ruffled Jiros' ears.  
  
Jiro then walked over Kurama's legs and looked up at the two girls as if to say 'goodbye'. Maya smiled and scratched the top of his head. While Botan was watching Jiro, she spotted a long piece of silver hair on the ground by Maya. Her brow furrowed slightly and looked up at Kurama questionably. Kurama bit his lip for a second and then gave her a look as if to say 'it is alright.' Botan nodded in return.  
  
Kurama then looked at the newspaper that was lying on his computer desk, and remembered an article that he had seen on the second page, "Maya, I got the news paper for you, I think you will find an article that proteins to you on the second page. The news paper is on my desk behind you."  
  
Maya stopped petting Jiro and turned around and headed over to Kurama's desk to retrieve the paper.  
  
"It is about your mother and her boyfriend. I believe it will explain better then I could."  
  
~§~  
  
~Emptiness, a lonely parody~  
  
'The singing, it is back. It is different.' Shuuichi thought, 'it is more like jazz.'  
  
~ And my life, another smokin' gun A sign of my indifference~  
  
"Heh." Shuuichi said out loud, lifting up his arm that had an IV in it and looked at it.  
  
~§§~  
  
Yes! I am finally done! Waho! Just a few more chapters I believe boys and girls, until the last one. But then again, I don't know, it could be several more since school has been out for me since the 22nd. Who knows? 


	15. Selfish Love

Disclaimer: All previous disclaimers still apply.  
  
Ah, procrastination, one of my middle names. ~_~ I *was* planning on having this the 'peak chapter' but yea know, I get side tracked in my writing.  
  
Chapter 15 Selfish Love  
  
Maya's hand went right through the desk when she tried to pick up the newspaper clipping. She waved off Kurama's silent offer of help, and read the article clipping from the place where it was resting on his desk.  
  
Her brow furrowed after she read the first few lines. Then, tears slid down Maya's cheeks unbidden as she bit her lip in order to keep her emotions under control.  
  
Botan laid a sympathetic hand on Maya's shoulder, "I am sorry."  
  
"Has my suicide case been forgotten?" Maya asked.  
  
"Not completely," Kurama answered, walking over to where Maya and Botan were standing, "They think the two cases can be linked tougher with your mothers boyfriend. They have not gotten so far yet, but all the paperwork they have to fill out is understandable."  
  
Maya nodded and stood in silence for a few seconds, "Oh, and you still have not told me your story, Shuuichi. But, I understand," Maya bowed her head, "with the situation at hand. I am going to write my story down on paper, so you can read it whenever you have time, but I do hope you will read it. Some one knowing my life story will make it easier for me to move on. I hope your mother will have a nice Mothers Day." Maya stated, meeting Kurama's eyes.  
  
Kurama studied Maya for a few moments, and then he smiled, "Thank you."  
  
Maya's eyes grew a little big larger, and flushed lightly 'He must be a real pro at this.' She grumbled in her mind, she had not felt the floating- like mind-set for many years. She then smiled softly up at Kurama, and then turned to Botan, "I guess we better get back."  
  
"I believe so, lets get going. Bye-" She stopped in mid sentence to correct her self before she said the wrong name, "Shuuichi."  
  
"Good bye." Kurama waved his hand slightly, and then looked down towards Jiro, "Come on, lets go."  
  
Botan made her oar appear, and flew out of Kurama's open window. Maya started to float over the sill, but looked over her shoulder at Kurama for a second, 'I can't help but to wonder.' She started to think, but shook her head and flushed again, but a little redder, and then disappeared.  
  
~§~  
  
Shiori tossed side to side in her bed, entangling herself in the covers, "No, don't do it. Please. He still has time." She mumbled out load.  
  
~Inside her thoughts~  
  
"I cannot do this. I cant." Kurama's spoken thoughts came out in a mixture of sobs and coughs.  
  
Shiori relaxed from where she was forced to observe, trapped in her own dream, bound to where she was standing with invisible binds. She could move her head, her eyes, and mouth, but nothing else.  
  
"Please. Take me out of this pain! I know you can!" Shuuichi was standing in front of Kurama, swaying a little bit because he had not stood on his legs in a long time.  
  
"I am sorry. I cannot."  
  
"Are you that selfish?!" Shuuichi whispered harshly.  
  
"No! It is not that! I can't bring my self to. To. I am sorry." Kurama looked down at the glinting dagger that he was clutching in his right hand, and then he let it drop to the floor, where it landed with a clatter.  
  
"I know you can. Please." He cried out, ".I beg you." A small tear ran down his left cheek.  
  
"NO! Don't do it! Please, Shuuichi, he still has time to live, that I want to share with him!" Shiori cried out, but her voice was not herd, as if her sons were in another dimension completely different from where she was being held prisoner to her nightmare.  
  
"Are you sure you want to die?" Kurama asked, his voice noticeably gaining strength.  
  
"Yes, I am going to die one time or another." Shuuichi answered with an un- wavering voice.  
  
Shioris vision was focused on her sons left eye with out even wishing to do so, like she was a videogame character, forced to do what the person at the controller wished for her to do by pressing a button or moving the joystick.  
  
Then, her sons' eye started to go from a soft, passionate large green eye, to a demonic gold eye, which was considerably smaller, with strands of hair hiding some parts of eye.  
  
"If that is your wish, I grant it." A deep, wise sounding, male voice stated, stripped of feelings and emotion.  
  
"NO!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T KILL HIM!!!!!!! PLEASE!" Shiori cried out. She heard the person who just took her sons place; pick up the dagger off of the floor.  
  
~§~  
  
The buzzing of Shioris alarm clock woke her up in a cold sweat. She sat up straight in bed, checking her surroundings, making sure that it was just a dream. Shiori looked annoyingly at her alarm clock, and turned off the sharp buzzing it was making.  
  
Her door then opened, and standing in the doorframe, was her husband holding a small wooden tray, "Happy Mothers Day, dear. I made you breakfast." He smiled happily and then walked in, "My, it seems like you did not get an second of sleep, bad dream?" He asked looking down at his wife.  
  
"I don't know if 'bad dream' even fits to what my imagination thought up." Shiori muttered, and then brightened up, "It smells lovely! When did you arrive home?"  
  
"Oh, about an hour or two ago. He is sleeping just fine."  
  
Shioris eyes grew distant and troubled. Hatakana noticed this, and he laid a hand on her shoulder, holding the tray with his other hand, "Don't think about this today, please? It is Mothers Day, and I want you to have an enjoyable, relaxing day."  
  
Shiori looked up and smiled, "I will try, thank you for being so concerned about me."  
  
Hatakana laid the tray at the foot of the bed, then got into bed beside his wife, and then pulled her close, "Can you please forget, just for today?"  
  
"I will try my best." Shiori answered, resting her head on his chest.  
  
He put his arm around her, then lifted her chin up to him, and the looked into her eyes, "Can you give me that smile that made me fall in love with you?" He asked softly.  
  
Her eyes grew tears, but she did not shed them, Shiori then smiled as best as she could. Hatakana chuckled, "Can I have a rain check for that then, please?" He asked affectively and rubbed her shoulder.  
  
"I guess I could do that." She looked up to him, snuggled on his white silk- covered chest, content as a cat could be.  
  
"Your breakfast is getting cold." Hatakana commented.  
  
"I don't care." Shiori mumbled shifting so she was more comfortable.  
  
"But I worked hard on that!" Hatakana cried out, seeing that the tray was almost falling off the bed due to Shioris movement.  
  
"You did say, after all, it is Mothers Day." Shiori stated closing her eyes and inhaling her husbands distinguishing scent.  
  
"I guess I am guilty to that." Hatakana smiled and rested his head on top of his wife's; "You are in serious debt to me in cuddling." Shiori mumbled.  
  
After nineteen minutes of sitting in bed completely silent, for they did not need words to exchange thoughts, they heard Kurama's door open and his semi-shuffling footsteps come down the hall.  
  
"Can I make up my time later on, if that is okay for you?" Hatakana asked softly.  
  
Shiori smiled, sat up, and then took the tray that was at the end of the bed and started to eat.  
  
"Do you want me to warm that up for you?" Hatakana asked.  
  
"No thanks, it is just fine."  
  
Hatakana then got out of bed and stretched, "If I sit there any longer I will fall asleep. If you do not mind, I am going to get some tea."  
  
"You should really get some sleep." Shiori stated.  
  
"I should be fine, I don't want to mess up my sleeping patterns."  
  
~§~  
  
After Kurama checked to make sure that his parents were in the living room, he went back upstairs to get Jiro out from his closet where he kept him during the night.  
  
"Okay, little buddy, behave. Please?" Kurama asked after he opened his closet door, letting out Jiro, when then sat on the floor carpet, looking up at Kurama as if saying 'Who, me?'  
  
Kurama looked over his shoulder because his ears picked up footsteps heading coming in the direction of his room. He bent down and picked Jiro and then set him back on his feet inside of the closet, then shut the door.  
  
"Kurama? Can I come in?" Shiori asked as she knocked on his door.  
  
"Uhhh. Sure mother." Kurama answered, he never heard his mothers' tone like it was before, partly fear, and part helplessness. And she also never asked to come in at his door before either.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Kurama asked worriedly when his mom walked in his room.  
  
"Please! Don't kill your brother!" Shiori said suddenly and then ran over to Kurama like a little girl who was scared from a nightmare going to seek comfort from her parents; "I had this horrible dream last night, it seemed so real! It felt real! Some one. Some one possessed you and killed your brother! I know it might seem selfish, but he still has time left. Please! Please don't let any thing possess you!"  
  
Kurama's green eyes grew large and shocked, about how his mother was acting, "It was a dream, mother, no need to get upset," He said finally, "Why would I let any one possess me and then kill him?"  
  
"I. I don't know. You did not seem. Normal. In my dream. Please. Don't, I beg you."  
  
'Maybe she is going into hysterics from all the stress she has been under.' Kurama wondered, "Don't worry, I do not see any point of murdering my brother, not letting any thing use me."  
  
Shiori nodded her head, and then studied her sons' eyes for a couple of seconds, and then left the room. But then she turned around and walked back to her sons' doorway, "I am sorry, it is just that so many things have been going on lately."  
  
"It's okay, just enjoy yourself today, you deserve a break."  
  
Shiori nodded and smiled, "You and your stepfather say almost the same exact same things." She then walked down the hall.  
  
Kurama suddenly felt a large, sudden weight descend onto his shoulders and heart. He walked over slowly to his door and closed it softly. Kurama closed his eyes, sighed, and leaned against the door, "What do I do?" He muttered out loud, "My mother wants to spend as much time with her stepson who is on his death bed, and in severe pain, and wishes to be killed with all of his heart."  
  
~§~  
  
Shiori stood at the counter filling a glass that already had ice in it, with water. She glanced down at the counter where she usually lays miscellaneous papers to see the brochures for the cemetery. Shiori sighed heavily, "Did you look at these yet?" Shiori asked her husband who was out in the living room reading the newspaper.  
  
"Look at what?"  
  
"These pamphlets the hospital gave me."  
  
"I thought you agreed not to think about this today." Her husband stated rather firmly.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama heard scratching and whimpering at his closets door. He smiled and walked over to his closet and let Jiro out, who happily circled Kuramas feet.  
  
Kurama sat down on the floor and Jiro walked over to him and sat next to him looking up with large luminous eyes, knowing something was bothering the person who rescued him from the streets, but not knowing what to do, "I have taken many lives during my years." Kurama admitted, "But none of them effected me as much as this has been."  
  
Jiro nudged Kurama's arm hopefully, and Kurama started to pet Jiro's head, "At least you will still be here for me, right?" Kurama smiled, "Now I know why they call dogs, 'Man's best friend."  
  
~~§§~~  
  
I finished this chapter! I have many ideas now, from a movie that I saw no absolute point in and no plot and moved at a dead slugs pace. My mom and dad made me watch "About Schmit (spelling?)" with them. 


	16. Tears Reflection

Disclaimer: . My half birthday is coming up really soon, so don't yea think giving my rights to Yu Yu Hakusho would be a stellar half-birthday present???? Huh?! Huh?!  
  
Gr! I could never find out Maya's mothers name, I guess it was never mentioned in the manga! So I am just going to call her 'Hisae'. Nor, could I find out Maya's mothers boyfriends name, but I don't know if they were married or not. Ah well, this is alternate universe, so if Maya's mom is not married to that guy yet, who turned out to be a monster, and they had Maya on accident but never got married, but they are living tougher. Oh, by the way, I don't know his name either; it was never mentioned in the translated manga scans I have been reading, so his name is 'Koan'  
  
Note # 2: You don't know how long I have been staring at the last part of this chapter while I was writing this. I was debating weather to go into it, or gloss over it, giving the reader an idea. Lets just say, I did not enjoy writing it all that much.  
  
Chapter 16 Tears Reflection  
  
"I guess I am going to start out saying that my life was not very pretty nor glorified like a movie stars." Maya written down on a piece of white paper that had lines that were in blue in a black ballpoint pen, "It was not like that in the least." Maya looked out to the clouds that were underneath the building for a few moments, and went back to writing, "As soon as I was brought out of school, I was transferred into a new one where my mother drove me day after day in till we were completely moved out of our home."  
  
"Just leave your boxes in your room for now and come down stairs for lunch, Maya, you have been copped up in there all day." Hisae said from the open door into Maya's room, her shoulder length black hair up in an bun at the back of her head.  
  
"Okay." Maya answered cheerfully and left the cardboard boxes behind in her room and then walked down the green-carpeted hallway into the kitchen.  
  
"How far are you in your un-packing?" Koan asked when Maya entered the white walled, and white tilled kitchen that had red cupboards, white counters and sheer peach colored curtains that were dancing in the breeze from the open window they hung over on the south wall.  
  
"Not very far," Maya started, "I have many boxes to unpack. But I doubt if I can fully un-pack in one day."  
  
Maya put down the pen on the writing tablet and looked up at the large tiled ceiling that was over her head, trying to remember as much as she could, but it seemed that she only remembered the bad things that happened to her in great detail, "It seems," she wrote down, "that I can remember the bad things that have happened to me clearer then all of the good things. I guess the human mind is just like that. But for a few weeks, things were all right, as if Koan was sizing my mother and I up, finding out our emotions that we experience and how to play on them, as if we were just a game.  
  
Then as things were starting to go into a comfortable routine, it started to change. Koan started to stay at work longer, his moods started to change like the weather. After a while, he started to verbally abuse my mother, lightly at first, calling her a 'stupid women', and then gradually calling her other things, like 'whore' and 'bitch'.  
  
At night her broken up sobbing woke me up, and I lied awake, listening to it, and then I gradually drifted back to sleep into troubled dreams that usually woke me up gasping for air.  
  
Mother was a mess, you could say. She apologized to me a lot, about the state she was in, and the mess she got me in. Her eyes had dark circles underneath them, and she was letting her black hair grow and was not paying attention to it. Her hair was brushed, but not very well. She started to drop weight at an alarming rate. I recall seeing her on the scale, and she noticed me.  
  
"Oh, Maya," Hisae said, turning her head around to look at Maya, "I am slimmer then I was in high school, what a surprise."  
  
Maya's face grew grim, "Why aren't you eating? I rarely see you eating. What is wrong?"  
  
"Oh, it is nothing, don't worry about me."  
  
The weeks after my mom lied awake at night crying did not last long; she gradually toughened up against Koan, fighting back. I knew she wanted to move out, but she did not know where to go. Mother did not know what I knew was going on she thought I was oblivious.  
  
After a while, I started to drift slowly and painfully into depression. I started to dig my own grave, and I was conscious of it, but I did not care. Koan started to abuse me with out even aiming the statements he was making too me. He started to insult things that I liked, like mythology and things that are related to that. I started to change, too, I became colder, rigid, and more withdrawn, I actually started to welcome depression fully into my mind setting, letting it control my moods.  
  
That was when my school performance started to drop. I normally, as you know, earned A's and rarely B's on my worst subjects, but I stopped caring.  
  
"What did you get on your test Maya-Chan?" The short brown haired girl asked Maya when she received her history test back.  
  
"A C." Maya replied as she was talking about the weather.  
  
"You are joking, right?" The girl asked, stunned.  
  
"No." Maya answered put the test in her binder and then took out a novel and started to read.  
  
Later, a shadow was cast over Maya's desk. Maya looked up from her book to see a male office administrator with blond hair that was obviously dyed, "Please, follow me." He stated and started walking away.  
  
Maya quickly marked her book page with a purple and silver bookmark. She followed the man in silence, not inquiring where he was taking her, because a little voice in the back of her mind told her that he was taking her to the guidance councilor.  
  
The blond haired man closed the door behind Maya once she entered the guidance councilors office.  
  
"Please, have a seat." The middle-aged women that looked like she was from the Western countries.  
  
Maya quickly  
  
~§~  
  
"What is wrong, honey?" Hisae asked from Maya's door and looked at where Maya was sitting, which was on the ledge of her open window, her feet hanging out.  
  
Maya sat in silence, watching a small bird hop around on the ground around the bases of the large trees that surrounded the house. She finally answered, "Nothing."  
  
"Well, your guidance councilor called from school, she said your work ethic is decreasing, and your grades are plunging."  
  
Maya did not reply, she just watched the bird hop around on the ground, searching for food.  
  
"Maya, are you listening to me? You are not acting like yourself!"  
  
So, from then, I stopped caring about every thing. If things were going to slip away from me, or get harmed, I did not really care. I started to inflict pain upon my self, like not letting my self be happy, because I believed that I did not deserve happiness. I started to sleep a lot on the weekends, and indulging my self in dark poetry and books.  
  
Koan started to have temper tantrums, and using my mother in more ways then one. He used her bank account, her name to sign on credit card purchases, and many other things. The month after he started to do those things, I started to make my hurt physically; I started to believe in 'I only believe in pain because that is the only thing that is real'.  
  
No one remarked on the scars on my arm, where I dug my nails into my skin, or the scars on the underside of my arm, where I scratched my self at night when Mother was crying. I saw my mom glance at my arms sometimes, but she never said any thing, because her look said it all. But I never listened to the un-spoken words; I had already built a wall around my self that was impenetrable.  
  
~§~  
  
"Where is brother?" Shuuichi asked as Shiori and Hatakana walked in the room. It was two weeks later after Mothers Day, and Kurama did not come to visit Shuuichi not once in that period of time.  
  
"He did not come. He is at the library with some of his friends." Hatakana answered.  
  
Shuuichi looked sad, "Okay. Have the doctors stated on how much more time I have to live? Please, tell me."  
  
"The doctor never stated. But, we would like to spend some time with you, out side of the hospital. How do you like the idea of going out to a park, or to a zoo?" Shiori asked.  
  
Shuuichi smiled weakly.  
  
"I guess you would like that? A day out of here?" Hatakana asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good, we have already talked with the doctors, and they will release you for a day, so we can do any thing that you would like." Shiori said happily, with her eyes gleaming.  
  
~§~  
  
"What is wrong, Kurama?" Yusuke asked in a hushed tone, since they were inside of the city library.  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
"Its not nothing, I can tell by your face." Kuwabara stated.  
  
"Am I that shallow?" Kurama laughed softly, "I am just thinking."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I am supposed to be helping you two study I believe?"  
  
"Why are you not at the hospital with your parents who are seeing your brother?" Yusuke asked.  
  
Kurama's eyebrows arched, "I don't feel comfortable going there."  
  
". Oh."  
  
~§~  
  
Maya looked up from the note pad, where she had already filled many pages with black script, "I wonder why mother never inquired face to face with me." She mumbled, and set her pen back down on the notepad and continued writing.  
  
"Mother still did not inquire when she saw long, thin, dark scars on my wrists," Maya began to write, "but I was not surprised. She was starting to make her self live in a lie, that Koan loved her, and every thing was alright, but in reality, he was just using her, like she was a plastic doll in which for him to control, and nothing was alright, every thing that could go wrong, was going wrong.  
  
The day, I started to cut my wrists, is one that will stain my memory forever. It was a normal seeming weekend, I was alone, no friends around, not like I had any friends, and mother went out to the store, so I was alone with Koan.  
  
I was going up-stairs to use the other bathroom, since the other one my mother was in the process of cleaning. The bathroom was right by my mothers and Koan's room, so when I was going by their room, I looked in to see my father lying in bed with a magazine. He noticed me, so I came in to their room. (A/N: Forewarning: you can skip this part, you most likely already have an idea of what is going to happen.)  
  
Koan lied there for a couple of moments, staring at Maya, then he quickly got out of bed, seized Maya by the shoulders, and threw her on to the bed.  
  
"What?! What are you doing?!" Maya screeched, trying to kick the advancing Koan, but did not succeed.  
  
"Shut up and stay quiet!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, bending over the bed, slipping Maya's white t-shirt over her head, reveling her white bra.  
  
"Get off! Stop!!!!" Maya choked out, knowing in great detail what was going to happen as her button on her pants was undone.  
  
Koan did not answer and continued to take off Maya's every article of clothing fluently.  
  
"Why. Why are you doing this to me?!" Maya whispered through broken sobbing.  
  
"Because I can." Maya then closed her eyes tightly as she heard him unzip his pants and tried to wiggle out of Koan's strong grip on her body.  
  
Out side of the house, birds sang on, a river flowed undisturbed, and squirrels leaped from tree to tree. Only Maya's cries could be heard a few feet out from the house,  
  
"No!!!!" Maya's voice carried sharply outside of the house, the birds all flew away, and squirrels scampered up trees to higher branches.  
  
~~§§~~  
  
Phew! I finished this chapter!! Soon, eh? As I stated in the beginning, I did not enjoy writing this last half at all. 


	17. Glistening Knife

Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply.  
  
*Is looping Inner Universe from Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex* Sorry for the delay people! I was gone longer then I thought I would be. I hope every one got the e-mails I sent out. Another reason this chapter is late is because my cousins came home with, whom are now gone, and Gaia. Oh, and school, down here, is starting August 6th. So I don't know how often I will be updating.  
  
Chapter 17 Glistening Knife.  
  
"Shuuichi is coming home?" Kurama asked his mother, to make sure he had heard her correctly. To an on-looker who looked at Kurama's eyes, they would seem slightly troubled and held the look of being taken off-guard in the light that streamed through the light curtains that hung over the windows of their living room.  
  
"Yes, he is coming home, but I fear for not long, only for one day and one night. A nurse will be coming with him, also. We hope to bring him some place, like the park or maybe the zoo, and just spend some time with him outside of hospital walls." Shiori answered, bewildered at Kurama's reaction.  
  
~§~  
  
Upstairs in Kurama's bedroom, he laid down on his bed and put his hands behind his head, staring up at the white ceiling.  
  
'If I fulfill his wishes, I will be killed, and that would cause more grief on my family.' Kurama thought with his eyes narrowing in thought, 'I guess. If he really wants to leave.'  
  
Jiro happily jumped up on to Kurama's bed and laid down at his side, his head against Kurama's waist. Kurama smiled faintly as he brought out a hand from behind his head and rubbed Jiro's head softly.  
  
~§~  
  
"Maaya! There you are!" Botan called out as she walked down the hall, "I have been looking for you!"  
  
Maya looked up from the paper she was writing on, "Is any thing wrong?"  
  
"Oh, no, but I have not seen you walking around any where, so I wondered where you were." Botan said cheerfully, "Hey, what are you writing there? May I see it?"  
  
Maaya looked down at the pad of paper on her lap and bit her lip softly, "Not right now, but later, okay?" Maaya answered, looking back up at Botan.  
  
Botan blinked, and then smiled, "Okay."  
  
~§~  
  
After Botan had left, Maaya looked back down at the paper, sighed, and started to write again:  
  
Every thing soon went black after I stopped screaming. When I came too, I was in my own room on my bed. I could not see straight and things were fuzzy at the edge of my vision. I sat up slowly and looked down at my cloths, hoping that it was all a dream that I had just woken up from, but the condition my cloths were in, was evidence enough that had all happened.  
  
I then started to cry, but then I stopped, in fear of Konan hearing me. I then laid back down on my bed and curled up in a ball, drawing the covers over my head with my hands trembling.  
  
That was the point on that I did not trust any human beings, especially men.  
  
~§~  
  
Later that afternoon, Mother came home and unpacked the bags of groceries. She called me downstairs for me to help, but I did not go downstairs since I did not wish to face my mother. She called again.  
  
"Maaya! Please come downstairs and help me unpack these bags! Maaya!"  
  
Maaya shifted a little bit in the tight ball she was curled up in, but did not reply. Instead, she let a small flow of tears go down her cheek, which made little water drops on her white pillowcase.  
  
Hisae walked up the stairs and then into Maaya's room, "What is wrong?" Hisae asked as she walked over to her daughters' bed.  
  
"I am not feeling good." Maaya managed to say steadily, not giving any hints to the tears that were in her eyes.  
  
"What is wrong honey?" Hisae asked with concern evident in her voice, "Can you please come out from there?"  
  
"My muscles hurt and I am really cold." Maaya replied, which was true.  
  
"Do you want any medicine or just to rest?" Hisae asked.  
  
"I just want to rest, if you don't mind." Maaya said as she pulled the covers tighter over her head.  
  
"Oh, okay, if you need any thing, just call and either Konan will come." And Hisae left the room.  
  
Maaya started to quietly cry into her pillow, "Just by hearing his name." She said in a choked out whisper.  
  
~§~  
  
"Shuuichi, do you want to swing on the swings with me?" A young Maaya asked a young Kurama. They were in grade school, in first grade. It was a wonderful spring day and the air was warm.  
  
"Sure." Kurama smiled and the two walked over to the swing-set in their school's playground and started to swing, both laughing.  
  
A smile appeared on the sleeping Maaya's face as she was sleeping peacefully.  
  
"Do you want to see who can swing higher?" Young Maaya asked, already starting to swing higher.  
  
"Sure!" The young Kurama replied and he too, started to swing higher.  
  
But then blackness started to set in and it enveloped the young Maaya. She started to fall off of the swing, which soon disappeared with the black tide. Maaya started to age rapidly, in till she aged to her current state.  
  
Maaya screamed when Koan came into sight underneath her, arms out, ready to catch her. A sly grin appeared on his face as he caught her, "You are not going any where soon." He chuckled.  
  
~§~  
  
Maaya darted up in her bed, her blanket wrapped around her, panting. She smelled soup, but did not pay it any mind. Maaya got out of bed and glanced at her calendar, making it out in the moonlight that came through her window. She flipped back one mouth absent-mindedly and located a red dot on the calendar. 'It was two weeks ago.' She thought, 'I hope. I will just wait and then start to worry then.' She thought as she lowered the page down with her hand still trembling.  
  
Maaya crossed her room easily since she had memorized where every thing was. She opened her door silently, listening to any sign if any one was awake. Not hearing any thing, Maaya walked out into the dark hall, descended down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
Maaya walked past the table and over to the double sink. She looked at the dish-drainer for a few moments. In the silver-wear part of the dish drainer, there was a stainless steal steak knife that shone in the gentle moonlight that was coming through the window above the sink. She reached out and gripped the black handle on the knife and brought it up close to her eyes, studying it.  
  
~§~  
  
"Welcome home Shuuichi!!!" Shiori said when she answered the front door to see Shuuichi in a wheelchair that had an attached IV pole holding an IV bag. Shiori then looked behind Shuuichi to the kind looking blond nurse, "Hello! You can call me Shiori. Your name is?"  
  
"Sanako, nice to meet you Shiori." Sanako smiled softly and pushed Shuuichi's wheelchair into the house after Shiori moved aside.  
  
"Hi mother." Shuuichi said weakly.  
  
"How are you feeling? Are you feeling good enough to go to the park or zoo?" Shiori asked.  
  
Shuuichi's eyes grew wide, "Yes, I am."  
  
Then Jiro entered the room, and started to jump off onto his hind legs to find that he had a new playmate.  
  
"We have a dog?" Shuuichi asked his mother.  
  
"Yes, Kurama gave him to me for Mothers Day. His name is Jiro."  
  
Shuuichi smiled softly at the bounding puppy whose eyes were full of playfulness and life.  
  
Sanako and Shiori started to converse about Shuuichi's transportation and things that would need to be done just incase something happened to him when he was out of the house. Shuuichi stopped listening, and felt some one looking at him. He looked up at the top of the staircase to see his stepbrother looking at him from the shadowed corner, seeming to be lost in thought. When he came out of his thoughts, he nodded at Shuuichi, turned, and headed to his room.  
  
~§~  
  
"Shuuichi?" Shiori knocked on Kurama's door, "Shuuichi? Your brother is home!"  
  
Kurama looked up from his computer where he was putting the finishing touches on his essay for school, "I will be right there mother." Kurama called back, doing his best to sound happy.  
  
~§~  
  
'I don't know how to tell him.' Kurama thought as he walked down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, looking at his feet.  
  
"Shuuichi!" Shuuichi called happily when Kurama descended the last step. Kurama's face brightened considerably when he heard his stepbrothers' voice.  
  
"Hello Shuuichi!" Kurama said happily as he crossed the room to where Shuuichi was sitting in the wheel chair.  
  
"Some of your friends from school have sent you things, they are up in your room, do you wish for me to get them for you?"  
  
"Sanako-san?" Shuuichi asked the nurse, who then stopped conversing with Shiori, "Yes?"  
  
"Can Shuuichi carry me up the stairs to my room? I would really like to see it."  
  
"I can bring them down here for you, it is no trouble." Kurama stated.  
  
"Is he strong enough?" Sanako asked, ignoring what Kurama had just said.  
  
Kurama smiled, "I am, but could you carry his IV bag?"  
  
"Are you sure you will be able to carry him up stairs?" Sanako asked again.  
  
"Yes, I believe I can."  
  
Sanako looked over at Shiori, who smiled and nodded her head. Sanako then un-hooked Shuuichi's IV pole from the back of his wheel chair, "Pick him up carefully." Sanako instructed to Kurama.  
  
Kurama nodded, bent down and easily picked up his stepbrother.  
  
Shiori's eyes grew wide, amazed at her son's strength that she did not know he had.  
  
~§~  
  
"I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill your wish." Kurama said after he sat his stepbrother on his bed and the nurse had left, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"What do you mean?" Shuuichi asked weakly, looking up at Kurama from the flowers and colorfully wrapped boxes that decorated his room.  
  
"I cannot kill you," Kurama said firmly, and kept on talking when Shuuichi started to cry quietly, "how fair would it be, for mother and father? They were told you still have some time left."  
  
Shuuichi's head bent down as he looked at the floor, "I have been in constant pain, there is no reason for me to stay here any longer."  
  
"What about mother, and father?" Kurama spoke softly, yet a little icily, "don't you want to spend some time with them, to make them happy, instead of your self-happy in the end? What about them?"  
  
"But." Shuuichi looked up, a pleading look in his eyes.  
  
"Shuuichi don't you have any realization of what will happen to me, if I were too kill you? One of my own friends will be forced to kill me, and that will only increase mother and fathers heart aches.  
  
"Because of who you are, you cannot kill me?" He asked quietly.  
  
"Yes." Kurama said quietly, "I am sorry, Shuuichi."  
  
"I understand." Shuuichi hung his head.  
  
"What do you know of me?" Kurama wondered out loud.  
  
Shuuichi blinked for a second, and then said, "I can tell you are not a normal being."  
  
Kurama nodded, "And you matched me with the kitsune in the tale because of that?"  
  
Shuuichi nodded, "You tell the tale so well, like you lived it, that is how I guessed the kitsune was actually-"  
  
Kurama nodded and interjected, "Do you want to open any of those presents?"  
  
Shuuichi caught what Kurama was saying, and nodded.  
  
~§~  
  
Maaya glanced up from her pad of paper and looked around to make sure no one was by her to see the tears coming from her eyes. She then started to write again:  
  
I dropped the knife on the counter; my eyes held the look of being in shock and my mouth was partly open. I then started to take large gasps of air, "So, this is real." I remember saying out loud to my self as I watched the blood surface from the cut in my wrist.  
  
I then went into the downstairs bathroom and retrieved some medical gauze and ointment from the cabinet under the sink, and treated the cut. After I was finished, I headed back up stairs to my room and took out my journal from my desk, and that brings me to where I am now.  
  
Maaya stared at the page that she just written on, and then wrote: 'I only believe in the pain, because that is the only thing that is real.'  
  
~§§~  
  
I am sooo sorry for the delay for this chapter, and it's crappy-ness. I made my self-write this one, so it came out, like this. I have ideas for the next chapters, but I had to get this one out of the way first.  
  
*** I have a question for every one: Do you want some chapters to contain yoai (you can probably guess the pairing) or not?  
  
Oh, and in the last chapter of the story, I plan to have a Q&A to me. So, start thinking up questions you have for me. They can be on Yu Yu Hakusho, this story, or questions about me. So, start thinking! ~_^ 


	18. Fragile Wings

Disclaimer: Hey, I am still in school, and I am too lazy to get a job even though I am of the legal age.  
  
Please don't kill me. For this being so late. Have mercy on me. My life has turned really hectic.  
  
Chapter 18 Fragile wings  
  
Shiori could only hear the steady beeping of machinery in her step-sons hospital room, 'Things were going so well. What went wrong?' she thought painfully as she watched her son's slow rise and fall of his chest.  
  
She tried to live a lie that every thing was going to turn out fine in the end, like many movies that she had seen though out her lifetime, but Shiori failed miserably, for her inner voice of logic and reason always got in the way. She hastily wiped a tear off of her cheek with her index finger and then wiped her finger on her navy-blue skirt. 'I am not going to cry by Shuuichi,' Shiori thought, 'It would be insulting his will.'  
  
After a few moments of staring off into her own personal world, Shiori left the room.  
  
~§~  
  
"That was a great report Minamino, you may now take your seat." The teacher said after the applause of the class died down. He nodded to the teacher and in a half daze, picked up the papers that made up his report on Venus, and walked back to his seat.  
  
"I wonder what is wrong.?" He could hear a hushed whisper ask one of his fellow peers as he walked by, ignoring them.  
  
After Kurama sat down and placed the papers on his desk, he looked out of the window longingly that was beside his desk, wishing that he could just simply run away from every thing, and to forget it all, to start over. Kurama started to wonder if he would have ever chosen this life if he had known that all of this would have been happening to him, if he knew he would have to watch his stepbrother waste away to nothing where he was forced to do nothing to help him.  
  
Kurama started to think about all of his friends, he would have not meet any of them they way he did.  
  
~§~  
  
"Hey! Kur- Shuuichi!" Yusuke corrected himself in mid-sentence while calling out to Kurama who turned the corner in front of Yusuke and Kuwabara.  
  
Kurama blinked quickly, reverting back to the real world and switched his school books from one arm to the other, "Hello Yusuke, Kuwabara."  
  
"Why are you going?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"To the hospital." Kurama said with sadness evident in his voice.  
  
"Oh." Kuwabara said, stumped on what to say. Finally Yusuke spoke up, "Can we go with you and visit him?"  
  
Kurama's eyebrows narrowed in thought, "I do not think that will be a wise decision."  
  
"Why do you mean?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"You see," Kurama started walking, Yusuke and Kuwabara following, "when a person starts dieing, their soul gets close to the spirit realm. Shuuichi, in his case, is dieing slowly so his soul is inching closer, so, he has more time to think over things and interpret it in a way he would not have if he were to be dieing at a faster pace."  
  
~§~  
  
"Still writing Mayaa?" Botan asked as she stood beside Mayaa, "You have been writing for a very long time, why not take a break?" She asked cheerfully.  
  
Maaya moved her eyes up to look at Botan through her raven bangs, "No, thank you, I would rather finish this before I do any thing else." Her dark brown eyes then quickly moved to the half-full tablet of paper that was lying no her lap.  
  
Botan nodded smiled, "Okay, if that is your wish." Then left Maaya who briskly started to write again.  
  
'It was weeks later,' Maaya wrote, 'That I felt how hard hitting the bottom is.'  
  
"Maaya, what troubling you?" Hisae demanded of her daughter after her daughter closed the door behind her and set her schoolbag on the ground.  
  
"Nothing is wrong Mother," Answered Maaya meeting her mothers eyes for a fleeting second and then looked away.  
  
"Yes, yes there is Maaya!" Hisae stated, "What is wrong?!"  
  
"Nothing." Maaya's replied softly and walked up the stairs to her room with her eyes coasted to the floor.  
  
"She is starting to trouble me." Hisae stated to Koan who was sitting on the sofa.  
  
"If she says nothing is wrong, then nothing is wrong. Don't worry yourself so much." Koan replied with a bit of bitterness in his voice, stood up, and left the living room.  
  
Hisae stood, rooted in her spot, "What has become of this family?" She asked out loud, and stood transfixed with memories flashing to and fro in her mind.  
  
~§~  
  
'Why. Why cant I stop.' Maaya thought as her eyes watched the blood seep up through the fresh cut in her left wrist. Her eyes went back to the knife she was clutching in her right hand; Maaya's eyes analyzed the sharpened edge and then went back to the blood that was running off of her wrist and onto the counter-top. She then thought how much more pain it would be to pierce through her chest. Maaya shook her head slowly, 'I would never resort to that.'  
  
~§~  
  
Maaya laid down her pen and touched her chest lightly with her hand, 'I still, I still remember the pain. Even though I left. I can still remember the pain.'  
  
~§~  
  
"How are you doing honey?" Shiori's voice registered in Shuuichis' partly awake mind. Shuuichi moved his head slowly to get a look at his stepmother who was standing at the side of his bed, and then looked at the IV the hospital staff had inserted in his left arm.  
  
Shiori smiled kindly with a trace of sadness evident in her eyes, "You gave us all a scare."  
  
"I am sorry," Shuuichi said and cast his eyes downward.  
  
"Its alright," Shiori said warmly, lightly touching his cheek with her right hand, "there is nothing to be sorry for."  
  
"But I am causing all of you so much pain." Shuuichi weakly protested.  
  
Shiori continued to sadly smile with her eyes slightly glistening with tears as she looked down on her stepson.  
  
~§~  
  
Kurama quietly watched his mother at his stepbrothers' bedside from the shadows on the far side of the room. He saw Shuuichi glance his way, but never said any thing to his relief.  
  
Kurama started to wonder how it would be; with out his brothers' presence in the house, 'It will be like it is right now, but with the knowing that he will never return.' Kurama then looked down at his schoolbooks that were at his feet. He had arrived in his stepbrothers' hospital room before his mother came, and his brother woke up. Kurama decided that he would talk to his stepbrother after his mother left.  
  
~§~  
  
"So, should we go in?" Kuwabara asked as they stood, facing the automatic doors that opened into the interior to the hospital.  
  
Yusuke smiled, "Why not? After all, what can it hurt?"  
  
~§~  
  
Small black booted feet landed on a tree branch that gave slightly under his weight. Red eyes located a partly open hospital window where he felt his friends (A/N: I decided to not make this shonen-ai/yaoi.) ki.  
  
The short demon made a sound of disapproval and muttered, "baka kitsune". And walked to the trunk of the large tree and sat down against it.  
  
~§~  
  
"Hey Shuuichi!" Kuwabara said as he stepped through the door, thus announcing his presence.  
  
Shiori and Shuuichi turned their heads and smiled. "Hello Kuwabara, Yusuke." Shiori said warmly.  
  
"Hello." Yusuke smiled, and let his eyes go to the corner of the room where Kurama stood, who nodded his head in approval.  
  
"Well, I better be going, I will be back later Shuuichi, maybe I will bring Jiro. It is nice to see you two, thank you for coming. If you see Shuuichi, please tell him to come home, I have not seen him all day."  
  
Yusuke stepped on Kuwabara's foot as he replied, "We will."  
  
Shiori stood up and looked at her soon as if she could see a time clock on his forehead, "Well, I must be going. Good. Goodbye Shuuichi, I love you." Shiori said, saying the last three words with as much warmth and love as she could put in them, and then left the room, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Hello Kurama." Yusuke said after Shiori shut the door.  
  
Kurama laughed softly and stepped out of the shadows, "Hello." He replied.  
  
"Why were you hiding?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"Because I did not want our Mother to see me," Kurama replied.  
  
"Boy, you are weird some times." Kuwabara commented. Kurama smiled, and then walked over to his stepbrothers' bedside, "How are you doing?"  
  
Shuuichi shook his head slowly, "Pain." He managed to get out, "So much pain."  
  
Kurama put a hand up into his hair and extracted a seed, "I am sorry that I can only do this much for you." he said softly as he looked at the seed and inserted a small amount of his ki into it to turn it into a small pile dust in his palm, "This will help relieve some of the pain."  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara watched silently as Kurama walked over to the sink and took a plastic cup off of a small stack and filled it with water; then put the dust into the water.  
  
"I am sorry that I am not able to do more for you," Kurama said as he walked back over to his stepbrothers' bedside, when do you wish to see the kitsune?  
  
"Whoa! What!?" Yusuke and Kuwabara chorused.  
  
"I promised him that he will get to see the kitsune that he heard in the bedtime stories I told him when he was sick."  
  
"Are you sure that is legal!?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"A promise is a promise. I am not going to kill him, or hurt him in any way." Kurama replied curtly.  
  
"When will I be leaving?" Shuuichi asked, straining his voice.  
  
Kurama smiled sadly, "Soon."  
  
"Now?" Shuuichi asked.  
  
Yusukes eyebrow started to twitch, "This is a public place. You know?"  
  
Kurama smiled, "Yes, I know. I could just disconnect the cameras."  
  
"But. But. What if you get caught?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"I won't be caught."  
  
~§§~  
  
Please. Have mercy on me. This is so late. *Hangs head* I feel so ashamed. I have had homework and my personal life has been turned up side down.  
  
If you wish to message me, go to my profile and find my e-mail address. I am not sure if I have my new AIM s/n on there, but if I don't, it is KoukonTenshi. I don't mind talking to any one ^_^  
  
And I know some of these parts were really crappy. *Sighs*  
  
Well, please review ^_^ 


	19. Fragile Hope

Dear readers,  
  
It is my deepest regrets that I have not been able to update with a large chapter. I have recently received a 'D' in Algebra 1B, and I am starting to write my term paper for English Honors II.  
  
So, I managed to write these pages. I do not think I am going to have this story going for much longer. I have started to write the climax chapter already in my notebook, and I am planning a way to end the story sooner.  
  
~Arisa  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any anime/manga companies. Nor am I a creator of any anime or manga. I got some ideas from a Dave Mattews song called Gravedigger, so if you recognize anything. Yea. ^^''  
  
Chapter 19 Fragile Hope  
  
Kurama quickly glanced around the room and took notice of the locations of security cameras, and then moved back into the dark corner of the room, "Yusuke, Kuwabara, I would move by Shuuichi if I were you." He said calmly as he took a seed out of his hair and into his palm.  
  
Kuwabara gulped visibly and quickly moved by Shuuichi's bed, Yusuke following right behind.  
  
"KURAMA! This is a big risk!" Yusuke yelled as he saw the small seed in Kurama's palm explode and saw Kurama's ki direct the fragments of seed into the cameras at a speed the un-aided human eye could detect.  
  
"A promise is a promise." Kurama answered simply.  
  
Shuuichi watched the outline of his stepbrothers' body in the shadows in amazement; he knew that there was more to his stepbrother then meet the eye, but he did not know what he was capable of.  
  
Then, Shuuichi's eyes started to close on their own accord, and every thing went black.  
  
~§~  
  
"I. I. I missed it. No. This cant be happening." Maaya whispered through chocked sobs, "This is all a lie. It must be. Must be a dream." Maaya walked over to her desk in her dark room, sat down in the chair, folded her arms on the desk and rested her head on them. She felt her tears seep through her long sleeves of her shirt as her body convulsed with sobs.  
  
"Maaya!" Hisae flung the door to Maaya's room open and rushed in and quickly turned on the light, "What is wrong?!"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing mother."  
  
Hisae placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders, "You cannot be crying over nothing!"  
  
"Why. Why is life so hard? I try blindly to find the door that opened when the other door slammed in my face, but I cannot find it."  
  
"What are you talking about? I do not understand what you are saying." Hisae asked, feeling a wave of panic cross over her.  
  
"Its nothing mother! You will never understand!" Maaya stood up abruptly, "You are never there, when I need you, you never have! I try to come to you, but you always leave, tying to brainwash yourself to believe that Koan loves you!" Maya ran past Hisae and out of her room.  
  
Hisae stood transfixed for a moment, running through the things her daughter had flung at her like a weapon, and then ran after Maaya, "Maaya!" Hisae shouted, "Come here!"  
  
But Maaya did not stop to turn around, she continued to run, feeling the ground fly under her feet. Before it registered in her mind, she swiftly ran out of the door.  
  
'Must continue to run. I must forget. I must run!' Maaya thought as her feet connected with the ground almost like a rhythm as she slipped by countless trees while she was penetrating further into the woods that surrounded her home.  
  
~§~  
  
How long did I sleep?" Shuuichi asked as his eyes flitted open, 'the last thing I remember seeing was my stepbrother,' he thought, 'that medicine must have knocked me out.'  
  
"Half an hour." An alien voice answered.  
  
Shuuichi blinked and turned his head towards the source of the voice. His eyes locked on a tall, slender, silver haired kitsune who was leaning on the opposite wall with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"Are you the kitsune from the stories that my stepbrother told?"  
  
"Hurry it up! Some one is coming!" Yusukes voice called into the room from the hall.  
  
"I have kept my promise. You are not to tell a soul about what has taken place." The kitsune coldly told Shuuichi, not changing his passive expression.  
  
"Can you please tell me your name?" Shuuichi panicked, afraid that the kitsune would vanish.  
  
"Youko, Youko Kurama."  
  
"I recall my stepbrothers friends calling him Kurama."  
  
"That is because I am apart of Kurama." Youko Kurama stated as his ears shifted to pick up the steps coming increasingly closer to the room. His golden eyes took in the layout of the room in flawless detail, and quickly decided that the window was the safest exit.  
  
Youko Kurama glanced over his shoulder to make eye contact with Yusuke, whom nodded in return.  
  
"Excuse me, miss, but could you show me the way to room," Yusuke quickly glanced at the number of the door he was standing by, "945? I am quite lost."  
  
The brunet nurse smiled and nodded, "the room is this way, please follow me."  
  
~§~  
  
"Ring around the rosy." Maaya sang softly as she leaned against the trunk of a pine tree, her eyes looking into the distance, "Pocket full of posies, ashes to ashes, we all fall down."  
  
She looked down to the green blades of grass, broke off a piece of grass, and brought it up to her sad eyes, twirling it between her fingers as she continued to sing:  
  
"Dig my grave. Burry me by the sea that I have never seen Bury me with the man I have longed to kiss. Make my grave shallow; so then I can feel the cold rain  
  
So sweet death come and lay your sultry lips on me Take me from this world of pretend, And bring me to reality."  
  
~§§~  
  
Sadly, that is all I wrote.  
  
I must be going, you have my heartfelt apologies for the shortness of this chapter and the few updates. 


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